Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    Failed?  

    Impossible!  

    It doesn’t make sense!  

    The woman in the side room, who had just witnessed the death of the female Gu in an explosion, was filled with disbelief. She meticulously reviewed her entire plan in her mind but couldn’t pinpoint the cause of failure.  

    The Soul-Controlling Gu, during its dormant phase, exhibited no aura or signs of life, resembling an inanimate object. Its concealment was nearly flawless.  

    Among Prince Huai’s confidants, the only one remotely capable was Second Fool, but he was a crude and reckless brute. How could they have detected the Gu in the chamber?  

    Had she made a mistake in the process?  

    Unlikely. The person she selected to plant the Gu was chosen at random and didn’t even know their own role beforehand. How could they have exposed the plan?  

    After much deliberation, she could only arrive at one possibility: the useless Prince Huai possessed some unknown survival mechanism that she hadn’t accounted for.  

    Could he… be a player?  

    While the mechanics of the Stellar Scar Gate were designed to be fair, even in narrative-based gameplay, it was rare for players to assume roles such as princes or emperors, as those perspectives offered too much influence. However, she couldn’t completely rule out the possibility. This Stellar Scar Gate’s worldview was expansive and eerily unpredictable, defying conventional logic.  

    It seemed she needed to approach this “game” with even greater caution.  

    After finishing her analysis, the woman donned a loose, hooded black robe in the side room and gracefully departed.  

    Her figure was flawless, her face stunningly beautiful, and her every movement exuded a captivating charm. Even in the beauty-filled capital, she was a contender for the title of top courtesan.  

    …  

    At the hour of the Pig (9–11 PM), night enveloped Prince Huai’s residence in silence.  

    A squad of night guards, holding lanterns and clad in armor, passed by the gate of the Pleasure Garden.

    Suddenly, the lead Guard halted and asked, tilting his head, “Do you… do you hear a woman moaning?”  

    At his words, the other guards also stopped, straining their ears.  

    After a moment, one guard responded with a lecherous grin, “I hear it. Quite the lively sound, isn’t it?”  

    “It must be one of the lords enjoying himself in the Pleasure Garden again.”  

    “The sound carries this far?”  

    “Heh, the sound of pleasure knows no bounds.”  

    “…!”  

    The group exchanged crude remarks, and soon they climbed onto the walls of the Pleasure Garden courtyard, attempting to sneak a peek.  

    The Pleasure Garden, formerly Prince Huai’s personal retreat, housed over a hundred songstresses and talented beauties. Now that Prince Huai himself was barely surviving, reduced to a bird in a gilded cage by the imperial court, the place had become a playground for the so-called “traitors.” Every night, someone would rendezvous there with a lover.  

    While the soldiers were busy peeping shamelessly, the woman in the black robe slipped out through a side door, completely unnoticed, as though she were invisible.  

    At the hour of the Rat (11 PM–1 AM), under the cover of darkness, the black-robed woman left the residence and made her way to a hut in the wilderness.  

    Upon entering, the dim candlelight revealed an old Daoist priest sitting cross-legged on the bed. The black-robed woman bowed gracefully.  

    “This servant greets Master Xu.”  

    The old Daoist Xu, was an advisor to the reigning emperor. He had arrived in Qingliang Prefecture the previous day regarding the Heavenly Pardoned One, though he hadn’t made a public appearance at the prince’s residence.  

    “Did you plant the Gu?” Xu asked impassively.  

    “This servant meticulously planned the Gu’s implantation, but I don’t know what life-saving measures that useless Prince Huai used. Somehow, the Gu was discovered, and someone died in his stead,” the woman replied, neither obsequious nor panicked.  

    Silence fell upon the hut after her words. Xu didn’t lash out, nor did the woman show any signs of fear due to her failure.  

    “An imperial decree,” Master Xu suddenly said.  

    The woman immediately knelt and bowed, “This servant accepts the decree. Long live the Emperor!”  

    “The Heavenly Pardoned One has awakened, and the opening of the tomb of the former princess is imminent. I order Liu Ling’er to infiltrate the Hall of Tranquility discreetly and, within two days, locate the tomb’s passage map in Prince Huai’s secret chamber, as well as uncover the secrets hidden there,” Master Xu said with a calm expression before pausing to ask, “Did you hear that clearly?”  

    Liu Ling’er frowned slightly as the familiar prompt from the Stellar Scar Gate echoed in her mind.  

    [You have received a new task: Find the tomb passage map hidden in Prince Huai’s secret chamber and uncover the secrets there. Task deadline: Before leaving the Stellar Scar Gate. Failure penalty: The emperor will deem you useless and have you executed.]  

    Hearing this “reminder,” Liu Ling’er’s face turned grim. Clenching her teeth, she replied, “This servant accepts the decree.”  

    “I have other matters to attend to and cannot show myself at the residence for now. If you succeed, you may inform me through the disk token.”  

    “Yes,” Liu Ling’er responded as she stood up.  

    “Go,” Xu said indifferently, closing his eyes and saying no more.  

    Without hesitation, Liu Ling’er turned and left the hut, her face clouded with gloom.  

    In an unremarkable, unused side room within Prince Huai’s sleeping quarters, all was pitch black, the lamps extinguished.  

    Ren Ye lay on the hard wooden bed, eyes wide open, unable to sleep.  

    Second Fool, cradling his famed blade Inviting Moon, sat on a wooden chair by the door, breathing steadily as he kept his ears alert to the surrounding noises.  

    Ren Ye initially didn’t want Second Fool to “stand guard” in his bedroom. However, after the recent Soul-Controlling Gu incident, he couldn’t shake his unease. He was now reluctantly sharing a room with this burly man and even considered asking him to guard the bed directly for closer protection.

    “Second Fool, is there anything unusual around us?” Ren Ye asked nervously.

    “Other than two rats scavenging for food, there’s nothing out of the ordinary,” Second Fool replied.

    Ren Ye was astonished. “You can hear rats?”

    “Martial artists train their five senses before they train their bodies. Within fifty meters, no sound escapes my ears,” Second Fool said with a hint of pride before adding, “But compared to the late prince, this is nothing. On the battlefield in the southern frontiers, I saw the late prince exude a powerful aura that scared a general into retreating without moving a muscle. Now, that is the pinnacle of martial arts.”

    Ignoring the praise to the late prince, Ren Ye’s thoughts took a peculiar turn. “So… if I were to whisper sweet nothings to one of my concubines, would you hear it too?”

    “I wouldn’t hear that,” Second Fool shook his head.

    “Huh? Didn’t you just say nothing within fifty meters escapes your ears?”

    “Your Highness doesn’t take long. By the time I hear it, it’s already over,” Second Fool replied honestly.

    “You dare insult me? I’ll have your head!” Ren Ye exploded in frustration.

    Second Fool laughed heartily, his sincerity clear.

    Ren Ye took a deep breath and calmed himself. “Did you sprinkle the incense ash in the corridor as I instructed earlier?”

    “It’s done,” Second Fool affirmed.

    “And is someone guarding the palace doors?”

    “Lian’er is stationed there,” Second Fool quickly added. “I’ve even set up simple traps around the latrine. If an intruder sneaks in, the traps will definitely alert us.”

    “Good,” Ren Ye nodded slowly.

    The room fell silent again, but Ren Ye soon sat up abruptly. “Wait, what about gas? This palace is well-ventilated. If someone releases poisonous fumes—”

    “Rest assured, Your Highness. I’ve ordered all eunuchs and maids to stay near the four corridors leading to the palace. If there’s any poisonous gas, they’ll detect it first,” Second Fool responded calmly. “If you’re still concerned, I’ll assign eight specialized ‘poison testers’ to guard the doors tomorrow.”

    Ren Ye was momentarily speechless. “You know what? I trust you to handle things.”

    In the darkness, Second Fool glanced at Ren Ye and could sense his master’s anxiety and lingering fear. He spoke up to reassure him, “Your Highness, sleep peacefully. As long as this Second Fool breathes, no one will harm you.”

    Ren Ye felt deeply moved. What a loyal brother!

    The full moon hung high, stars twinkling brightly.

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    Dressed in her black cloak, Liu Ling’er returned to Pleasure Garden. She slipped into a private room, discarded her disguise, and changed into a soft pink undergarment.

    Sitting lazily before a bronze mirror, she reached for a comb to tidy her hair, but her ears suddenly caught a voice:

    [Death Quest Triggered – Final Words: Do you have regrets in life? Do you have secrets you can’t share? Do you carry unspeakable pain and remorse? You’ve experienced Liu Ling’er’s story. Now, leave behind your own story.]

    “Final words? Ridiculous!” Liu Ling’er froze for a moment, feeling a deep sense of unease.

    After failing the Soul-Controlling Gu mission, the Stellar Scar Gate had warned her of punishment, though it hadn’t specified what. Then came Old Daoist Xu’s investigation task, with a clear message that failure would result in death.

    A moment of thought made it clear: failing the first task had made subsequent ones significantly harder.

    “Swish!”

    A blank sheet of paper and a pen suddenly appeared on the dressing table.

    “Hmph!”

    Liu Ling’er sneered at the items. “What kind of fool would write down their secrets? Pathetic!”

    But a moment later, the flickering candlelight revealed her bent over the table, quietly writing her story with a serene expression.

    Strangely, the paper and pen seemed to hold a magical power, compelling her to pour out her thoughts.

    “My name in the real world is Wang Hong, but here in the Stellar Scar Gate of Qingliang Town, I ‘play’ the role of Liu Ling’er.

    My identity tag is: Songstress.

    My entry item is a painting, called: Spring Breeze Delight.

    Its powers align well with my style of handling matters.

    In the real world, I’ve worked as an escort for many years. I’ve encountered countless men—rich spenders, twisted eccentrics, and broke fools pretending to be wealthy. My understanding of men is both an occupational skill and an advantage.

    Unlike women who cry about being forced into this line of work, I made this choice willingly.

    I don’t have a gambling father, a sick mother, or a younger brother who needs a house for marriage.

    I entered this trade simply because I’m lazy and don’t want a regular job.

    When I was young, I spent my time playing and dating. Now I’m left without education or connections. How much can I earn from a regular job? Three to four thousand a month? That’s not even enough for a pair of shoes.

    In this world, people mock poverty, not prostitution. As long as you have money, even your parents look at you differently.

    Besides, I got married at 18, became someone’s wife for three years, and even had a daughter. That little brat spends money faster than I do, always demanding the best of everything.

    When I got married, the first three years were smooth. My ex-husband made some money in the lumber business and treated me well. But later, he overreached and ended up drowning in debt.

    With no money left, how could life go on?

    Come on, I married you at 18. I have both looks and a great figure. Did you really think I’d stick around to share your burden of debt?

    To avoid being dragged down, I decisively chose divorce. The child was granted to me, a decision made to legally extract some of the assets under litigation as child support for us.

    Isn’t the law supposed to protect the vulnerable?

    After the divorce, I went to the Golden Sea Club on Tainan Street. I worked as a server for three days, observing the situation and understanding the work. Then I told the manager my intentions and officially started my career in this field.

    Being a hostess isn’t difficult. It’s just like managing a marriage. If a man has money and is willing to spend on me, I’ll make sure he feels good, looks good in front of others, and experiences complete satisfaction.

    Some people say this is selfish or shameless, but in this day and age, only fools aren’t selfish or shameless.

    I have a natural talent for dealing with men and a clear head.

    During those years, even though I stayed up late and drank heavily, my overall life was positive, and I earned a lot. In this world, nothing comes without effort. I figured that out a long time ago.

    I worked about 20 days a month. During my period, I’d take my child on trips, shop, and enjoy life. Those days were comfortable.

    I was content.

    In a blink, over ten years passed. As I aged, I transitioned from working directly to managing behind the scenes, becoming a madam. My income didn’t decrease—in fact, it grew. That’s because my strength has never been sleeping with men but understanding them and catering to their needs.

    But my child grew up, went to college, and hasn’t spoken to me in over two years.

    We had a huge fight. We almost broke everything in the house. It started when she gently asked, “Could you quit this job?”

    In a small city, well-known clubs are limited, and gossip is unavoidable. Maybe… she felt ashamed of me in front of her friends and classmates.

    I didn’t care what others said. Over the years, I’d been cursed at and insulted countless times. I was used to it.

    But when she said it, I snapped.

    What?!

    I raised you with the money I earned, and now you’re saying it’s dirty?

    I beat her so hard that day. I can’t remember how many slaps I gave her. She fled in tears, and we haven’t spoken since.

    Later, I found out why she fought me. She’d had a dispute with a female teacher over a minor issue, and the teacher publicly scolded her: “If you keep skipping class and fooling around, you’ll end up like your mother!”

    When I heard that, I was furious. I contacted an old thug from out of town, someone I was familiar with from his visits to the club.

    A week later, he brought four young men to the city and waited outside that teacher’s home.

    That evening, the teacher came back from work. She was stabbed twelve times, her face slashed four times, her chest three times, and… elsewhere, they shoved over a dozen branches inside her.

    I watched it all from a car, feeling pure joy. I even rewarded the four men by spending two days in a hotel with them. I didn’t pay a cent.

    I didn’t feel shameful—instead, I felt euphoric.

    After all, I’m a hostess. Trading my body for benefits is natural!

    I didn’t have much education, but I believe teachers should have culture and shouldn’t act like shrews. They deserve respect, and they should respect those who struggle in life.

    That teacher didn’t understand this, so I taught her.

    Anyway, that’s my story.

    At 35, I was unexpectedly selected by the Stellar Scar Gate to become a player. That’s when I realized the world wasn’t as simple as I thought.

    I love this eerie world. It doesn’t care about morals, background, or methods—only victory and defeat matter.

    All beings are equal. Everyone has a chance to defy fate.

    At 36, I joined a player organization called the Bell Society.

    The opportunity and token to enter the Stellar Scar Gate in Qingliang Town were given to me by the Bell Society. I must win; I can’t afford to lose!

    But… is this for that brat? That ungrateful child?

    Of course not. I’m an ex-tremely self-ish woman!

    I am Wang Hong.

    Now that I’m here, your only option is to fail and be eliminated.”

    The pen stopped. The white paper floated up, burned, and disintegrated into sparks that vanished into the air.

    For some reason, when Liu Ling’er looked up, her face was streaked with tears.

    In the palace’s side chamber:

    “Second Fool!”

    Ren Ye, who had been lying quietly, suddenly sat up and shouted.

    “Swish!”

    Second Fool instinctively drew his blade. “What’s wrong, Your Highness?”

    “I’ve figured out a way to lure out the one who planted the Gu!” Ren Ye exclaimed excitedly, sitting on the bed.

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