Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    Zhong Kuishan, the commanding officer of the Qingzhou Guard and a dignified Grade 3 official, had forged his promising career through countless battles and scars. Yet, his life was abruptly ended by a single strike from that foolhardy youth.

    For Second Fool, he had never stepped foot in the capital nor seen the grandeur of the Golden Throne. He neither understood the high status of senior officials nor recognized the splendor of a Grade 3 leopard-patterned robe.

    As the breeze swept across the high platform of the Hall of Tranquility, the pungent scent of blood filled the air. Officials stared blankly at Zhong Kuishan’s lifeless body, their throats dry and eyes wide with disbelief.

    “A mere guard… are you courting the destruction of your entire clan?!” the magistrate hissed venomously from below the platform.

    “Kill him and avenge Lord Zhong!” shouted an officer of the Qingzhou Guard, brandishing his blade.

    The urgent sound of footsteps rang out. Over a dozen soldiers armed with long spears and steel sabers charged toward Second Fool with ferocious intent.

    Standing still on the steps, Second Fool’s breathing remained steady. His muscular frame was as unmoving as a statue, save for his ears that twitched ever so slightly. Only when his foes stepped within striking distance did he spring into action, man and blade moving as one.

    Clang! Clang-clang!

    In an instant, the stairs leading to the hall were consumed by a flurry of flashing steel. Yet, no sound of metal clashing resounded—only the crisp cracks of shattered swords and pierced armor.

    Beneath the plaque of the Hall of Tranquility, the palace lanterns swayed, casting chaotic shadows across the scene.

    Bang! Bang!

    Second Fool’s figure moved like a ghost, his blade slicing with lightning speed.

    Within the span of two breaths, the high platform descended into chaos. Over a dozen soldiers collapsed, their armor shattered and the ground soaked in blood.

    Standing guard alone at the hall’s entrance, Second Fool planted his blade firmly into the ground and declared, “I may not kill you all, but I’ll cut down the first who dares step into this hall! Lords, care to test the edge of the blade Prince Huai has nurtured?”

    Beneath the steps, cold sweat trickled down the foreheads of the assembled officials. Uneasy glances darted between them. They knew the guard’s blade was fast—but not this fast.

    Zhong Kuishan, a Grade 3 official, had been killed without hesitation. The youth showed no concern for the consequences.

    This wasn’t about the courage of a general like Hua Xiong—it was the selfish calculations of individual lords. The fool was a private soldier of Prince Huai. Who would risk their life against such a small guard?

    With their leader gone, the Qingzhou Guard looked to their chief officer for direction. Yet even he hesitated, as Second Fool’s piercing gaze remained locked onto him. Fear of that swift blade kept him rooted in place.

    Inside the main hall, near the entrance to the secret chamber:

    “Click!”

    A cautious eunuch lifted the fake Nation-Stabilizing Sword, triggering a hidden mechanism. The wall creaked open, revealing a concealed passage.

    “Prepare crossbows!” commanded Ren Ye, his voice icy and his pupils pale.

    Over a dozen eunuchs and maidservants raised their weapons, aiming them at the dark entrance to the secret passage.

    A chilling breeze wafted out from the pitch-black corridor, causing everyone to shiver.

    After a brief silence, Lian’er tiptoed toward the secret passage and asked, “Your Highness, it’s awfully quiet inside. Should I take a few men down to check?”

    “No, don’t go in,” Ren Ye replied decisively. “Release poisonous smoke into the corridor to force—”

    Whoosh!

    Before he could finish speaking, the entrance suddenly burst forth with radiant golden light, rapidly flooding the hall and illuminating it as bright as day.

    What?! How could there be light?!

    A flood of questions surged through Ren Ye’s mind. His eyes widened as a figure emerged from the golden glow.

    It was a man, appearing to be in his mid-twenties. He wore a white dress shirt and black polyester slacks, but his face and neck were marred with shocking injuries, as though he had just been savagely beaten.

    “Xiao… Xiaoyang?!” Ren Ye’s voice trembled as he cautiously called out the man’s name.

    Li Xiaoyang—Ren Ye’s former colleague during their anti-fraud operations at the border. He had been brutally murdered and dismembered abroad after his cover was blown during a critical raid.

    “Ren Ye, save me… please, I don’t want to die!” Li Xiaoyang wailed as he fell to his knees, clutching his head in agony. “My wife… she’s just pregnant. Please, let me see my daughter, even just once!”

    “How are you here?!” Ren Ye asked, his steps instinctively carrying him forward. His mind emptied of all rational thought, his gaze fixated solely on Li Xiaoyang’s face.

    “Little Ye, only you can save me… only you!” Li Xiaoyang knelt on the ground, crying bitterly, his expression collapsing into sheer helplessness. “Do you remember? We joined the force together, worked on cases side by side. We were the best of friends! Save me… in this world, only you can!”  

    “I remember, I remember it all… I’m sorry, Xiaoyang. It should have been me that day. I’m so sorry… I…”  

    Ren Ye stood frozen, tears streaming down his face. Like a soulless husk, his hollow eyes trudged toward Li Xiaoyang and the entrance to the hidden passage.  

    “Shhhk!”  

    Just three steps away from reaching Li Xiaoyang, a chilling sensation pierced through Ren Ye’s chest, scattering his thoughts.  

    Why is he here?  

    How can I see him?!  

    No, this isn’t right.  

    This isn’t right at all! My mind is being manipulated…  

    Ren Ye froze, realization dawning. The Tranquility Amulet hanging on his chest began to flicker, its light pulsating more rapidly with each passing moment.  

    With a sharp crack, the amulet—gifted by the Princess Consort—shattered into fragments, scattering to the ground.  

    A wave of cool clarity surged through him. Snapping back to his senses, Ren Ye whipped his head around, scanning his surroundings. The entrance to the hidden passage remained shrouded in darkness. Suspended in midair was a scroll, radiating beams of light that ensnared Lian’er and the eunuchs.  

    Four eunuchs clung to the hall’s pillars, their hips thrusting uncontrollably. Meanwhile, three maids lay sprawled across the floor, faces flushed and eyes glazed, their intentions indecipherable.  

    An illusion?!  

    That woman has an artifact capable of creating illusions!  

    Ren Ye’s mind reeled as he turned sharply toward the hidden passageway. Without hesitation, gripping the Nation-Stabilizing Sword, he gave chase.  

    In the dim corridors of the Hall of Tranquility, Liu Ling’er sprinted frantically.  

    Her entry item was a scroll named Spring Breeze Delight, imbued with the mystical ability to create a “dreamscape illusion.” Though it lacked offensive power, its effects on anyone caught within were devastating—confusion, madness, and complete disorientation.  

    The moment the passage opened, she activated the Spring Breeze Delight, trapping everyone present in its dreamscape.  

    Once the illusion took effect, Liu Ling’er prioritized escape and concealment over attacking Ren Ye.  

    The reasoning was simple: though she had a life-saving ace up her sleeve, it was a one-time use only. She wasn’t skilled in close combat, and even if she managed to kill Ren Ye, escape would be nearly impossible.  

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    Besides, she was certain Prince Huai was a player and likely had more cards to play…  

    Thus, retreating and waiting for reinforcements was the wisest course.  

    After darting through two corridors, Liu Ling’er glanced around briefly, then pushed open a random side room and slipped inside.  

    Removing the token from her belt, she sent another message to the players aligned with the imperial court: “I’ve left the hidden chamber. You can enter the hall to retrieve me.”  

    From the token, an ambiguous voice replied, neither male nor female: “If you’ve left the chamber, why not come out yourself?”  

    Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Liu Ling’er cursed inwardly, Idiots! “If he dares to block me, it means every exit in the hall is sealed! You need to come in. We’ll split the mission clues evenly.”  

    In the corridor outside, Ren Ye, with the Nation-Stabilizing Sword in his right hand, bent low, inspecting the gaps beneath the side room doors.  

    Yes, he was checking for strands of hair tied beforehand.  

    Lian’er’s sudden bald patches weren’t without reason. From the Spring Fragrance Garden incident the previous day to now, more than 24 hours had passed. Both sides had been secretly preparing…  

    This was a contest between a cunning courtesan and a seasoned anti-fraud officer.  

    The Hall of Tranquility was filled with numerous rooms, but its layout was structured and traceable. Ren Ye’s methodical search soon brought him to the area Liu Ling’er had just passed through.  

    …  

    Outside the Hall of Tranquility, atop the high platform.  

    After a brief standoff with Second Fool, Wu Asi, the commander of the Secret Intelligence Division, decided to act.  

    Having exchanged two rounds with Second Fool, the tension escalated.  

    Boom!  

    A muffled impact echoed as Wu Asi, attempting to dodge, was forced to retreat by a swift and deadly blade arc.  

    The steel saber in his hands trembled faintly under the pressure.  

    Shhk! 

    A fleeting shadow slashed through the air as the famed blade Inviting Moon swept toward Wu Asi’s neck.

    In an instant, their duel approached a life-or-death conclusion.

    “The blade’s edge is sharp and unparalleled—a rare talent indeed. But alas… Heaven’s Flaw in One Corner!”

    A raspy voice echoed as a gray shadow descended from the sky, abruptly standing between Wu Asi and the attack. Two fingers clasped Inviting Moon’s blade and, with a light press, delivered an overwhelming force like a mountain crashing down. Second Fool’s body plummeted downward with blinding speed.

    Crack!

    The ground beneath his feet fractured as Second Fool staggered back two steps to stabilize himself. Looking up, he saw an elderly Daoist wielding a whisk, a palm strike already surging forward.

    Second Fool instinctively raised his blade to block. A muffled sound reverberated as his body was hurled backward. Yet in the same moment his feet left the ground, the silver blade of Inviting Moon was released, spinning straight for Old Daoist Xu’s throat.

    Whoosh!

    The silver blade moved with unparalleled speed and precision.

    Clang, clink, clink!

    In the blink of an eye, the grating clash of metal rang out. The Inviting Moon encircled Old Daoist Xu’s neck in a brilliant arc before returning to its wielder.

    Boom!

    Meanwhile, Second Fool’s body collided heavily with one of the red columns before the grand hall, sliding down in disarray.

    Gulp!

    On his knees, Second Fool clutched his chest, burning with pain. Blood spewed from his mouth as he reached out to grasp the returning Inviting Moon.

    A few steps away, Old Daoist Xu landed gracefully, his neck devoid of even the faintest mark. “Your blade is swift, but still insufficient to breach my defensive form.”

    “Master Xu! He is a rebel. Execute him immediately!”  

    “Master Xu, the hall is infested with traitors. We cannot afford any delay!”  

    “…!”  

    The gathered officials erupted in jubilant shouts upon recognizing Old Daoist Xu.

    Wu Asi sheathed his blade, his tone calm but strained. “Had the master not intervened, I would have slain him in three moves…!”

    As he spoke, he turned his back, his right arm trembling uncontrollably.

    “Follow me into the hall.”  

    Old Daoist Xu’s eyes appeared vacant, and an eerie deathly aura exuded from his body. Without hesitation, he led the way up the stairs.

    “Pfft!”

    Second Fool coughed up another mouthful of blood, stubbornly wiping his lips as he slowly stood. That single exchange had made it clear—he could not defeat Old Daoist Xu. The man’s body was peculiar: devoid of spiritual fluctuations or signs of sorcery, yet immensely powerful and impervious to weapons.

    Flanking him were twelve eunuchs who had been guarding the Hall of Tranquility. Heads lowered and motionless, they muttered desperate words of caution.

    “Let it go, Guard Hong… we can’t hold them back.”  

    “No need to throw your life away!”  

    “…!”  

    The buzzing voices of their pleas surrounded him, faint and persistent.

    Second Fool gripped Inviting Moon tightly, his trembling legs slowly regaining composure. His expression was calm as he murmured, “I… I finally remembered the words I wanted to say the other day when I handed out rewards.”

    Old Daoist Xu stepped forward, his lifeless gaze now tinged with a hint of murderous intent. “Boy, I see you still have a chance to join the sect in the future. I do not wish to kill you and accrue karmic debt. Stand aside.”

    Second Fool, blindfolded with gray cloth, slowly raised his single blade and walked step by step back to the grand hall’s entrance.

    There he stopped, standing upright once more, alone in defense of the door. “I was born in a small village in the southern frontier, home to fewer than fifty households. As a child, I found a stray dog near the village entrance. I fed him daily, and in return, he guarded our home. When I left, he watched over my parents until he passed away last year. I buried him under the apricot tree in our yard.”

    Five steps away, Old Daoist Xu’s eyes glimmered with malice.

    “I cannot defeat you. I will die…” Second Fool slowly raised his arm, pointing the tip of his blade toward Old Daoist Xu. “But I’ve remembered what I wanted to say that day—*those who eat the emperor’s grain must serve the emperor’s cause!* Even a stray dog understands this principle. How could a man not?”

    “A nameless soldier from the southern frontier skilled in single-blade combat humbly seeks instruction from Master Xu today!”

    His fearless declaration reverberated across Prince Huai’s estate, lingering in the air for a long time.

    Standing tall, blade in hand, Second Fool blocked the hall’s entrance. The cold, pale light of Inviting Moon reflected his unwavering determination—a chilling purity that cut through all doubt.

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