Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    In the pitch-black secret chamber, where the darkness seemed impenetrable, gusts of eerie wind swirled. The sudden extinguishing of the flames was followed by a chilling cry that echoed throughout.

    A fear capable of shaking one’s soul surged straight to the crown of Ren Ye’s head.

    Although he could no longer see that haunting face in the darkness, every detail of it had been seared into his memory with unbearable clarity.

    He felt his entire body stiffen, as if something were pressing against his back. His shoulders felt heavier, and his face—was there someone breathing onto it? Could it be that the thing was right next to his face?

    The invisible horrors conjured by his imagination were the most terrifying. Ren Ye felt the presence of that “thing” everywhere, and his mind flitted to the funerals he had attended in rural villages—the sight of elders lying cold in their coffins.

    Corpses with faces that were cyanotic, ghastly pale, or eerily painted with rouge-like hues…

    “Fuck it! I’ll fight you!”

    Ren Ye snapped. He didn’t even know what he was shouting. Acting on pure instinct, he unsheathed the Nation-Stabilizing Sword and slashed repeatedly in all directions—forward, behind, to his sides.

    “Swish!”

    As the blade swung, the Nation-Stabilizing Sword suddenly emitted a burst of radiant light, as if a divine weapon had descended upon the mortal realm. The brilliance was dazzling and blinding.

    Ren Ye squinted against the glaring light, hearing two faint wails before the room returned to a heavy silence.

    Despite this, his adrenaline surged, and he continued wielding the sword with all his might, creating a whistling sound with each swing. His shouts were laced with desperation: “Come on! Bring it! I’ll shave that long hair into a buzz cut!”

    “Your Highness, Your Highness…!” Suddenly, an urgent voice came from his left. Second Fool’s panicked cries cut through the tension. “Stop swinging! That thing’s gone! It’s gone! Stop, or I’ll have to defend myself!”

    “Huff… Huff…” Hearing the plea, Ren Ye halted, his chest heaving with heavy breaths. It took him a moment to regain his composure.

    “Snap!”

    A firestarter’s spark reignited the extinguished torches, bringing light back to the chamber.

    Ren Ye turned to see Second Fool lying face-down on the floor. His left hand clutched at his bleeding rear, while his right hand held a torch. His face was flushed red.

    “What happened to your butt? Did the ghost… bite it?” Ren Ye asked with genuine concern.

    “Your Highness, I see you as my master. Why, then, do you see my rear as a sword sheath?” Second Fool asked, his voice tinged with grievance.

    “Did I stab you? Uh… my apologies! My swordsmanship relies entirely on instinct…”

    “It’s nothing serious, just a scratch.” Second Fool gingerly probed his wound, unable to discern whether it was “stabbed by the blade” or “grazed by the hilt.” Thankfully, the injury was minor.

    “As long as you’re okay. I’ll have Lian’er apply some ointment for you later.”

    “Truly, Your Highness?” Second Fool’s eyes lit up.

    The torches in the chamber were all relit, restoring peace.

    Both Ren Ye and Second Fool tacitly avoided the iron door and hung the Nation-Stabilizing Sword in the chamber’s center, knowing its talismanic properties could ward off evil. They then began a swift search of the room.

    After about 15 minutes, Ren Ye finally discovered an old imperial edict tucked under a low desk. Holding it under the torchlight, he skimmed its contents and was instantly elated.

    The firelight flickered as Ren Ye leaned against the wall, meticulously reading through every character on the edict.

    From its contents, it appeared to be a confidential edict written by the late emperor to the previous Prince Huai—Zhu Zigui’s father.

    Translated into plain language, the message was essentially:

    “Son, greetings through this letter. Yesterday, I heard troubling news of unrest at the southern border. My heart is heavy with worry, my appetite lost, and my nights sleepless. At midnight, an overwhelming anxiety struck me, causing me to vomit blood several times.

    This morning, Daoist Xu visited me and, under my insistence, revealed the truth: my lifespan likely does not exceed one year.

    Since the founding of the Great Qian, I have unified the central plains, repelled the northern barbarians, and conquered the southern barren lands. I have no regrets for the people of the world.

    However, years of war have left the national treasury empty, clans entrenched, and meritorious officials forming factions. Meanwhile, the Crown Prince’s faction has begun scheming. If I depart, I fear chaos will ensue.

    The hope of the nation rests with me; my hope lies with the Heavenly Pardoned One.

    Daoist Xu claims that to open the tomb of the previous dynasty’s princess, the Heavenly Pardoned One is essential. This individual is destined to awaken in Qingliang Prefecture. I urge you to find this person swiftly—to preserve my life and sustain the Great Qian’s destiny.

    It has been a long time since I last saw my grandson, Zigui. I gift him a divine brush and a drop of my heart’s blood. When he uses this blood to anoint the brush, it will shine with divine brilliance.

    May he, when grown, ascend the high platform and paint the rivers and mountains anew.”

    The imperial edict was concise, and its meaning was straightforward.

    The old emperor was essentially telling his son, I’m dying, my days are numbered. But I am the hope of Great Qian village. If I die, chaos will ensue. An old Taoist said that opening the tomb of some former dynasty princess could extend my life and preserve Great Qian’s fortune.

    But to open the tomb, they needed to find the Heavenly Pardoned One.

    Seriously? At the end of power lies mysticism?

    Ren Ye couldn’t help but grumble internally, but his thoughts raced.

    Why is it always me? Judging by the timeline, it was currently the third year of Emperor Jing’s reign. This meant the secret edict had been written at least four years ago since the old emperor mentioned having less than a year to live.

    So, four years ago, the old emperor already knew that this Heavenly Pardoned One would appear in Qingliang Prefecture?

    Four years ago, Ren Ye was working on fraud prevention at the border and had no clue the Stellar Scar Gate even existed! Yet this old emperor and that Taoist had already started “scheming” about him.

    And what exactly was in that former dynasty princess’s tomb? Why could it only be opened after his appearance?

    The deeper he thought, the more horrifying it felt, sending chills up his spine.

    There were too many riddles to solve, but Ren Ye had far too little information. For now, unraveling the truth was impossible; he could only continue advancing the “plot” of this Stellar Scar Gate.

    After forcing himself to calm down, Ren Ye bent down and retrieved a delicate porcelain vial from a wooden box beneath the desk. The vial had appeared alongside the secret edict, and it presumably contained a drop of the emperor’s heart’s blood.

    Standing in place, Ren Ye closed his eyes and called out, “Imperial Brush!”

    Shwip!

    The brush, emanating an aura of quality and grandeur, suddenly appeared in his hand.

    Holding the brush in his right hand, Ren Ye used his left to open the small porcelain vial. Just as he was pondering its use, a blinding crimson glow burst from within the vial. A single drop of dragon’s blood flew out and illuminated the Imperial Brush.

    [Congratulations, Prince Huai. The Imperial Brush has been reawakened, and you have successfully completed the second task. You have earned 500 Source Points and 200 Experience Points.]

    [Exclusive Item – The Late Emperor’s Imperial Brush: This mystical brush can replicate any skill within this Stellar Scar Gate. The replicated skill lasts for six hours and can only be used once in full. Afterward, it enters a weakened state, requiring 12 hours before it can be used again.]

    [Ding~ You have earned 500 Stellar Source Points. Current balance: 500.]

    [Ding~ You have earned 200 Experience Points. Note: Player levels, professions, and inheritance traits cannot be activated within this Stellar Scar Gate. Settlement will occur upon exit.]

    The cold and detached voice of the Stellar Scar Gate faded as abruptly as it appeared, reminiscent of an unreliable playboy.

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    Ren Ye snapped out of his thoughts, elated.

    It can replicate any skill? Holy crap, that’s amazing! Truly fitting for a hellish-level starting difficulty!

    Ren Ye reveled in his excitement for a while before glancing down at the now dull porcelain vial in his hand. He carefully returned it to its original position and called out again, “Store!”

    Shwip!

    The Imperial Brush instantly vanished from his palm and entered his consciousness space. The sensation was oddly mysterious.

    Successfully activating the brush gave Ren Ye a slight sense of security. Feeling refreshed, he began pacing around the secret chamber, looking for additional clues.

    Unfortunately, after spending an entire afternoon searching with Second Fool, they found nothing of value.

    Standing before a shelf, Ren Ye picked up a book and automatically absorbed its details.

    [Yin Lady Sword Formation: It is said that a former dynasty princess loved martial arts. She secretly gathered 24 beautiful women and trained for eight years to develop a peculiar sword formation capable of shattering the Yang spirit of an individual.]

    “A sword formation for women? That’s useless.” Ren Ye muttered as he set the book aside and picked up a vibrantly colored vase.

    [Eight-Treasure Vase: A beautiful but seemingly useless decorative item. It is highly valuable and can be admired or gifted.]

    [Gold Brick: A commonly sought-after item of yellow and white hue. It is said that everyone loves it.]

    “…!”

    Phew!

    Having combed through the final shelf, Ren Ye let out a long sigh, wiping sweat from his brow. He muttered, “Looks like there won’t be any extra mission prompts in this scene from the Stellar Scar Gate.”

    “Second Fool, Second Fool…!” Ren Ye turned and called out, only to see Second Fool sitting alone by the secret chamber’s door, grinning foolishly while holding a silver, sheathless long blade.

    “What are you doing there, laying eggs?” Ren Ye teased.

    Second Fool looked up, cradling the silver-white blade with intense admiration. “Your Highness, I’ve wielded blades for years, but I’ve never seen one as sharp and extraordinary as this. It’s a true treasure!”

    “Let me see it.”

    “…Very well!” Despite his reluctance, Second Fool obediently handed over the blade.

    Ren Ye took the blade, and a flood of information appeared in his mind:

    [Heaven’s Ten Legendary Blades – “Inviting Moon”: A peerless weapon wielded by the infamous assassin Hidden Maiden fifty years ago. It is said that whoever possesses this blade inherits the sum of her lifelong skills.]

    The shorter the description, the more remarkable the item!

    Ren Ye marveled internally at the blade’s prestige. As he examined it, he glanced at Second Fool, whose eyes burned with desire, though he dared not speak.

    “Do you like it?”

    “This humble servant indeed admires it, but such a divine weapon should belong to someone of—”

    “It’s yours.” Ren Ye, impatient with the servant’s stammering, cut him off mid-sentence.

    Second Fool stood there, dumbfounded, as if turned to stone.

    “Take it already!”

    “Your… Your Highness, are you serious?”

    “…!” Ren Ye forcibly thrust the blade into Second Fool’s arms, then turned toward the room’s shelves. In a calm tone, he commanded, “Later, catalog all these items. Leave behind the martial arts manuals and official documents, but tally the gold, silver, and treasures. Distribute them equally among the eunuchs and maids in my quarters. Be fair.”

    “What?!” Second Fool was thoroughly stunned. “All these riches… If you kept them—”

    “Sigh. Scattering wealth gathers people. Considering my current circumstances, if they’re still willing to stay by my side, what’s a little money to me?” Ren Ye waved dismissively. “If you expect loyalty without compensation, you’re dreaming.”

    “Your Highness, you’re… very different from before.” Second Fool’s eyes shimmered with rare admiration.

    “Don’t lump me in with that idiot,” Ren Ye muttered internally as he walked toward the exit. “It’s getting late. I need to meet the consort now.”

    “Your Highness treats me like a father and bestows such a precious blade…” Second Fool hesitated, biting his lip as if making a momentous decision. “Even if you asked me to serve the royal stud, I would do my utmost!”

    “Fuck!” Ren Ye exclaimed, exasperated.

    “What does ‘fuck’ mean?” Second Fool asked earnestly.

    “It’s a phrase to describe… the mood during your hypothetical service. An emotional expression.”

    “Your Highness is so knowledgeable…!”

    After a simple meal, Ren Ye bathed, changed, and deliberately donned a pair of pale pink undergarments that seemed “innocent.” He also tied a strand of Lian’er’s hair strand to the door of his quarters before heading to Consort Xu Qingzhao’s chambers, accompanied by Second Fool and others.

    The attendants remained outside while Ren Ye entered the serene chamber. The scent of sandalwood lingered in the air.

    Looking up, Ren Ye saw the consort seated cross-legged on a canopy-draped bed.

    Her black hair, damp with water, framed a delicate, blushing face—evidence of a recent bath.

    Xu Qingzhao always exuded an air of cold elegance, as if detached from worldly matters, resembling a celestial maiden untainted by mortal affairs.

    Yet at this moment, her brow was adorned with a touch of vermillion. She wore only a sheer white gown, leaving her fragrant shoulders exposed. Her chest was faintly visible, and her white legs crossed beneath her flowing skirt, teasingly revealed.

    Ren Ye found himself momentarily stunned. Three years of abstinence, and now this? I’m wide awake!

    Xu Qingzhao slowly opened her eyes, glanced at Ren Ye, and lightly patted the space in front of her on the bed. “Come here.”

    “?!”

    That single command sent Ren Ye’s heart racing. Feeling slightly awkward, he approached, removed his boots, and climbed onto the bed. “My dear, shall we… lie down to talk?!”

    Whoosh!

    With a graceful wave of her arm, the silk cords binding the canopy’s curtains unraveled on their own, enclosing the two of them within its fragrant veil.

    “Take off your clothes,” Xu Qingzhao ordered coolly.

    What kind of tone is that when you’re the one asking for favor?

    Fine, I’ll take them off!

    Whoosh, whoosh…!

    In less than three seconds, Ren Ye was down to just his undergarments. As he reached for the waistband, he murmured, “I know you’re eager, my consort, but hold on… Almost done…”

    “The Nation-Stabilizing Sword has recognized you as its master again, triggering a celestial phenomenon. Congratulations, Heavenly Pardoned One.”

    Her cold words struck like thunder in his ears.

    Ren Ye’s heart skipped a beat. He looked up to see Xu Qingzhao watching him with a faint smile, her expression tinged with amusement as she gazed down at him.

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