Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    Perhaps it’s part of human nature to revere the natural world. For example, most residential communities prioritize greenery, wild animal furs are always deemed more luxurious than synthetic ones, and even plastic flowers—despite their convenience—cannot compete with the fleeting charm of real blossoms. After all, no one would be foolish enough to propose with a bouquet of plastic flowers.  

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    If this idea holds true, it would explain why some people enjoy outdoor escapades.  

    Tachibana Park was an ordinary park, but ever since a nearby cinema was built, it became a gathering spot for couples. After watching a movie, it seemed natural for couples to stop by the park for a rest. Over time, this transformed the park into what it was today.  

    On weekends and holidays, couples could be seen cuddling and whispering sweet nothings throughout the park. In the more secluded areas, there were occasionally the unmistakable sounds of hurried, intimate breaths. The next day, park staff often cleaned up various types of discarded contraceptives.  

    At midnight, most couples had already left the park. However, deep within, one couple was making their final push.  

    The moderately high grass, which had been shaking as if a bear were hiding within, finally stilled.  

    “Alright… let’s go back. It’s really late,” a woman’s voice said, tinged with labored breaths.  

    “What’s the rush? Tomorrow’s Sunday. Let’s go one more time,” replied the man, equally breathless.  

    “No! It’s dark and creepy here. I keep feeling like someone’s watching us. Let’s just go back,” the woman pleaded coyly.  

    “You’re imagining things. Everyone else is gone. Just one more time—this is the last, I promise,” the man said as he began to move again.  

    The woman, left with no choice, reluctantly followed his lead.  

    But for some reason, she couldn’t shake the unsettling sensation of being watched. The feeling made her uneasy, and she silently vowed never to come to such a desolate place for this kind of activity again.  

    Despite her unease, her body gradually succumbed to the pleasure. Slowly, she began to let herself go, momentarily forgetting her surroundings.  

    As she became lost in her moans, something cold suddenly touched her face—like a drop of water.  

    Is it raining? She opened her eyes slightly.  

    “Ah!” The woman let out a piercing scream.  

    Her boyfriend, who was diligently moving above her, mistook her scream for a sign of climax. A surge of pride as a “successful man” filled him.  

    But then, he heard strange, heavy breathing just above his head. A moment later, he felt something cold land on his neck, like a water droplet.  

    Turning his head to look upward, his pupils shrank to pinpoints, his entire body freezing with icy terror.  

    A blood-curdling scream echoed throughout the park.  

    ※※※  

    “This is the third case this month. It’s starting to make me wonder if vampires might actually exist,” a thirty-something police officer said, slamming a report onto the desk.  

    “If that woman hears you, you’re going to get chewed out again,” said another officer of similar age, chuckling.  

    “Hmph, do you think I’m actually scared of her? I’ve risen through the ranks from a patrol officer to a professional detective. What does someone like her, who just sits in an office writing reports, know about real police work?” the officer bellowed.  

    “I never realized I was the type to just sit in an office writing reports.”  

    A cold, detached female voice suddenly rang out from the doorway of the Criminal Division’s office.

    The two chatting officers were startled and immediately stood to attention, saluting the woman at the door.  

    Standing there was a tall, slender young woman with straight, center-parted hair. She wore a black business suit, and the perfect shape of her legs extending from beneath the skirt was enough to captivate any man’s gaze.  

    Her posture was impeccable, with a straight back that exuded strength and determination. Though her delicate features were gentle, her sharp and astute eyes revealed a keen intelligence. Undeniably, she was a stunning beauty.  

    With a cold glance at the two officers, Ayano Eiko spoke in an emotionless tone: “Instead of wasting time gossiping about your superior, how about focusing on solving the case at hand?”  

    “Y-Yes, ma’am,” stammered the officer who had loudly complained about his superior moments earlier, his face flushed red.  

    “I’m not interested in apologies. Has the autopsy report for the victims been completed?” The young Criminal Division counselor crossed her arms over her chest—a seemingly unconscious gesture that only accentuated her impressive figure. One of the officers watching couldn’t help but swallow hard.  

    “Reporting, ma’am. The autopsy report is complete. This time, the victims were a couple. Based on the estimated time of death, the crime occurred between 11 PM and 1 AM. At the time of the incident, the couple was…” The officer trailed off, unsure if he should continue, given his superior’s youth and gender.  

    Noticing his hesitation, Ayano Eiko’s patience ran thin. “What were the two victims doing, Officer Tsukida? Stop wasting my time.”  

    “They were… engaging in sexual intercourse. The forensic examiner found traces of the male victim’s semen in the female victim’s vaginal cavity,” Tsukida finally said.  

    “And? Continue.”  

    Seeing that Ayano Eiko remained completely unfazed, Tsukida sighed in relief but became even more convinced she was a true “snow woman”—cold and detached.  

    “The two victims, like those in the previous cases, were drained of all their blood. Both had distinct bite marks on their necks, which resemble those of some kind of predator. However, the forensic examiner still cannot confirm whether the marks were made by an animal or artificial teeth. Additionally, animal-like claw marks were found on their bodies, suggesting that the victims struggled violently before their deaths.”  

    “Place the autopsy report on my desk. The two of you, head back to the crime scene and see if there are any remaining leads.”  

    “Yes, ma’am,” the two officers responded immediately with a salute.  

    As Ayano Eiko’s elegant figure disappeared into her office, the two officers let out a sigh of relief.  

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    Ayano Eiko, the feared Criminal Division counselor, was only twenty-six years old. Her rank of inspector placed her in the elite career-track police group. This group consisted of individuals who passed the top-tier national civil service exams and were recruited by the National Police Agency.  

    Upon graduating from university, she became an Assistant Inspector. After three months of training and nine months of internship, she was promoted to Inspector. Following further training and service at the Police Agency, she was promoted to Chief Inspector within approximately two years and three months.  

    The rank of Chief Inspector was equivalent to the head of a small police precinct, meaning she had effectively achieved a leadership position by the age of 25 or 26.  

    Out of approximately 220,000 police officers in Japan, fewer than 500 belonged to the career-track group. Within this elite group of 500, only a handful rose to the top, commanding a vast and deeply entrenched police organization.

    Among the elite, Ayano Eiko stood out as a prodigy. A recent graduate of the Faculty of Law at Teikyo University, she excelled in all subjects and passed the bar exam, diplomat exam, and National Civil Service Category I Examination while still in school. Upon graduation, she joined the National Police Agency, rapidly advancing from Assistant Inspector to Inspector, and then to Chief Inspector—a career progression akin to a triple jump.

    Alongside her meteoric rise, Ayano also gained considerable fame. Her striking appearance had, from the moment she entered the agency, attracted a swarm of single and even married male colleagues eager to court her. Yet, her cold and aloof demeanor kept them all at arm’s length. Rumors began to circulate that Ayano Eiko might be a lesbian disinterested in men altogether. Privately, she earned the nickname “Snow Maiden,” symbolizing her icy and unapproachable personality. At present, only two suitors remained in pursuit, both also members of the elite career track. One was a fellow Chief Inspector, theoretically having a better chance due to his equal rank, but since he worked in a different district, their opportunities to interact were limited.

    Another suitor, Maeda Ryutaro, ten years Ayano’s senior, was also a Chief Inspector. His slower career advancement wasn’t due to a lack of ability but because he didn’t come from the National Civil Service Category I pathway. Instead, he had climbed the ranks starting as a police constable. Naturally, this took longer in comparison. [*]

    In her quiet office, Ayano Eiko focused intently on the autopsy report. After some time, she placed the document on her desk and walked over to the window.

    Watching the busy traffic on the streets below, she murmured to herself, “Could vampires really exist in this world?”

    ***

    “Masashi, someone’s looking for you outside.”

    Noticing Takeda’s mischievous grin, Lei Yin sighed and asked, “Which club is it this time?”

    “Bingo! You guessed it. This time, it’s the Karate Club.” Takeda finally burst out laughing.

    “Well, might as well treat it as exercise,” Lei Yin said as he set down the novel he had been reading and headed out.

    Takeda followed closely behind, all the while notifying Yoshikawa on his phone.

    Ever since Lei Yin hospitalized over a dozen provocateurs, certain students had deliberately stirred trouble. They spread exaggerated rumors among martial arts clubs such as the Boxing Club and Judo Club, claiming Lei Yin had humiliated a history professor in class. Fired up, members of these clubs came to challenge him. Although they called it a “match,” everyone knew it was far from a friendly competition.

    Initially, Lei Yin had ignored these hotheaded fools. But after days of having his locker stuffed with challenge letters and curse notes, and enduring hecklers shouting near his classroom or residence, his patience wore thin. Some even laid traps like mousetraps or nails in places he frequented, turning his daily life into a scene out of a ninja ambush.

    The breaking point came when Lei Yin, taking a midday nap, was woken by their noise. Enraged, he stormed into the Boxing Club, where the loudest instigators gathered, and thrashed every single member.

    But his retaliation only lit the fuse. By the next day, the Judo Club came looking for trouble.

    “If one’s going to fight, might as well fight them all,” Lei Yin thought, fed up with the harassment. He gave them what they wanted and proceeded to dismantle the Judo Club.

    When he walked out of their training hall, the only person left standing was a terrified club manager.

    On the third day, it was the Aikido Club’s turn, boasting an even larger membership.

    The result was the same—total annihilation.

    After the third battle, the name “Gennai Masashi” became known to everyone on campus. Some called him a “walking weapon,” while others referred to him as “public enemy number one.”

    This turn of events was entirely against Lei Yin’s original goal of leading a peaceful and carefree life when he enrolled. Meanwhile, Takeda, Yoshikawa, and Shiraishi Akira, who had initially shown solidarity in wanting to help, had gradually become spectators enjoying the show. Takeda and Yoshikawa even placed bets on how long it would take Lei Yin to finish each fight and come back out.

    When Lei Yin stepped outside the school building, he was greeted by a large crowd of over 200 young students dressed in karate uniforms, all waiting for him in an orderly formation. Among them were both black belts and white belts, though the latter were the majority—after all, it was rare for university students to train diligently enough to attain a black belt. Surrounding them was an even larger crowd of students eager to watch the spectacle. The scene was undeniably impressive.

    “Masashi, the karate club is the largest martial arts society at Teikyo University, and it also has the most members. Looks like they’ve mobilized everyone. If you’re not confident, it’s best to avoid this fight for now,” Shiraishi Akira, the most level-headed of the three, quietly advised Lei Yin.

    “In other words, if I take care of them too, no one else will bother me anymore,” Lei Yin replied, showing he had an entirely different perspective.

    Shiraishi could only force a bitter smile, wondering what kind of mindset this guy had.

    The other two rebellious youths, who had witnessed Lei Yin’s skills firsthand, showed no fear. Takeda even mocked the group of students in white uniforms, saying they looked like snowmen from a distance.

    “I’m Nakai Soma, president of the karate club. On behalf of all our members, I formally challenge Gennai Masashi.” A tall young man stepped forward and spoke loudly, skipping any pretense of calling it a friendly sparring match.

    “Spare me the formalities. You should already know my rules. I have no problem accepting challenges, but every one of you needs to sign this agreement first.” Lei Yin pulled out a folded bookmark from his book and opened it.

    “I understand. We’ll sign it immediately,” Nakai replied. After reading the terms, he was the first to sign the paper, then passed it to the next person.

    The agreement had been Yoshikawa’s idea. Though he had only studied law for less than two weeks, drafting such a document was well within his ability. Its contents outlined that the fight was purely a friendly sparring match and that neither party would bear any legal responsibility should anyone be injured during the process. This was to prevent a repeat of the previous incident where some students had tried to press charges against Lei Yin under false pretenses.

    While Lei Yin had managed to hypnotize a few of them in the hospital to get them to confess the truth using his immense mental power, the process had been troublesome. He didn’t want to go through that again, so he asked Yoshikawa to create this agreement.

    After all the karate club members had signed, Lei Yin carefully reviewed the document before putting it away. Then he turned to Nakai Soma and asked, “Will the fight take place in your club’s facility?”

    “If Mr. Gennai doesn’t have another preferred location, I’d like it to be at our dojo,” Nakai replied politely.

    “You’re the most courteous one out of all these people. Lead the way,” Lei Yin said.

    “Please follow me,” Nakai said, walking ahead to clear the path, followed closely by the karate club members.

    The rest of the students, eager to watch the excitement, followed along enthusiastically.


    [*] What? This was probably old or fake news.

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