Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    “Kuang Dao-san, thank you so much for saving my daughter. This is a small token of my appreciation, please accept it.” After Kuang Dao finished eating, Tani Akiko invited him to a guest room. She handed him a paper bag filled with cash.

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    He glanced at her, then suddenly yawned, stood up, and walked out of the guest room without looking back. As he passed through the living room, he said to the little girl, who was watching TV, “Little rascal, I’m leaving. See you.”

    When the little girl saw he was leaving, she immediately jumped off the couch and grabbed his hand. “Kuang Dao-ojisan, are you leaving so soon? Don’t go, stay and have dinner with us, okay?”

    “Next time. There are many bad people outside. Remember to be careful.”

    “Kuang Dao-san, really, thank you so much today. Take care.” The nanny, Rie, also said from the side.

    “It was nothing. Goodbye.”

    Seeing that he was really leaving, the little girl reluctantly let go of his hand and waved him goodbye.

    As Kuang Dao opened the door, he suddenly saw a young man in a uniform standing as if about to press the doorbell.

    The young man was slightly startled when the door opened unexpectedly but quickly composed himself and asked, “Excuse me, is Tani-san at home?”

    Kuang Dao turned around and called out to the nanny inside, “Hey, someone’s here for you.”

    The nanny immediately came out, thanked Kuang Dao, and asked the young man in uniform, “Hello, may I help you?”

    The young man replied, “Hello, I’m from Dayu Express. Is Tani-san at home? We have a package for her.”

    “She’s here. Please wait a moment.” The nanny was about to notify Tani Akiko when she saw her walking out.

    Tani Akiko noticed Kuang Dao was no longer there and asked the nanny, “Has Kuang Dao-san left?”

    “He just left.”

    Tani Akiko quickly walked outside and said, “Rie, please sign for it on my behalf.”

    “I understand, ma’am.”

    Tani Akiko didn’t go far and soon saw Kuang Dao walking. She immediately ran up to him and said, “Kuang Dao-san, please accept this money.”

    Kuang Dao gave her an irritated glance, “Are you annoying or what? Even if I fall on hard times, I won’t take this kind of money. I saved your daughter, you treated me to a meal, and we’re even now. No one owes anyone anything. Damn it, why is this elevator so slow?” Not wanting to deal with her further, he turned and headed for the stairs.

    Tani Akiko was left unsure of what to do, staring blankly as he walked downstairs.

    She returned to the apartment with a complex expression, only to find the little girl arguing with Rie, the nanny.

    “Miss, this package is for the madam. It might contain something important. Can we wait until the madam returns to open it?”

    “No, I want to open it now. It’s the first package our house has ever received. I’m so excited, I wonder what’s inside? Please, Rie, hurry and open it!”

    “I can’t, miss. The madam is finally back. Miss really wants to see what’s inside this package, but I couldn’t stop her.”

    “Mommy, can I open the package and see what’s inside?” The little girl looked at Tani Akiko with hopeful eyes.

    Tani Akiko, lost in thought, casually nodded and slowly sat down on the sofa.

    Looking at the paper bag in her hand, Tani Akiko’s lips suddenly twitched involuntarily. That drunkard, although a rough and reckless man, was quite an interesting character. He was unlike any man she had met before. She never imagined there were such intriguing people in the world.

    Recalling his actions at the bar the last time, the corners of her mouth twitched even more. Although she had been very scared back then, now, thinking about it, it seemed quite funny.

    As she was lost in thought, suddenly, two piercing screams interrupted her train of thought.

    She turned her head and saw the little girl screaming and jumping away, while the nanny, Rie, climbed onto the table in terror.

    “You…” As she asked and looked around, Tani Akiko’s face suddenly drained of color.

    On the floor, several brightly colored venomous snakes were slithering and crawling in all directions.

    Most women have an instinctive fear of animals like snakes and rats. When they saw so many snakes suddenly appear, the three women were immediately paralyzed with fear and could only instinctively jump away or run.

    “Mommy!” The little girl jumped back, then saw several snakes still crawling toward her. Terrified, she quickly jumped onto the couch and tightly hugged her mother.

    “Wh-where did these snakes come from?” Tani Akiko, holding her daughter tightly, asked in a trembling voice.

    “They came out of the package. Ah, don’t come closer…” The nanny, still standing on the table, looked down at a snake climbing up one of the table legs and screamed in terror again.

    “Mommy, what should we do now?” The little girl, almost entirely hanging on her mother, cried.

    Tani Akiko was also terrified, but to calm her daughter, she forced herself to hold back the urge to scream. Just then, she noticed a snake was getting closer to them, crawling toward the sofa.

    “Madam, quickly call the police!” Rie, desperately slapping the table to try and scare off the snake that was crawling up, shouted loudly.

    Hearing her, Tani Akiko immediately looked around for the phone. But soon, in despair, she saw that the cordless phone was on the side of the television. The thought of leaving the safety of the sofa and walking over to get the phone made her feel weak at the knees.

    But she knew it was the only way to save themselves. Tani Akiko gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the numbness creeping over her body as she prepared to force herself to walk over. However, her first step off the sofa was impossible to take. In her mind, an uncontrollable image of her foot accidentally stepping on the slippery, disgusting snake body kept flashing, making it even harder for her to move.

    Just as the women inside were in a panic, a few knocks on the door suddenly rang out.

    For a moment, the three women, of varying ages, heard the most pleasant knocking sound they had ever experienced.

    “Help! Help!” The first to react was the nanny, Rie, who shouted loudly toward the door.

    After a few calls for help, the knocking stopped suddenly.

    Just as their hearts sank, there was a loud bang as the door was kicked open, and a tall figure walked in.

    Looking at the three women standing on the table, on the sofa, and clinging to the mother like koalas, the man asked, “What’s going on?”

    “Kuang Dao-ojisan! Please help us!” The little girl immediately shouted when she saw him.

    “Kuang Dao-san, there are… there are snakes!” Rie also yelled from the table.

    Kuang Dao looked down and indeed saw several snakes crawling around the floor.

    Seeing the vividly colored, clearly venomous creatures, Kuang Dao’s eyes showed a keen interest. Without saying a word, he walked over to the closest snake, grabbed it by the neck with one hand, and then, as if plucking weeds, casually grabbed another snake.

    “Kuang Dao-ojisan, help me, it’s almost climbing up!” The little girl cried, seeing him only dealing with the snakes on the outside.

    “Got it.” Kuang Dao walked in front of the sofa and grabbed another snake nearby.

    Soon, with a few swift motions, Kuang Dao had caught all seven snakes, which were now tangled together into a large, terrifying mass.

    He then said to Rie, who was still standing on the table, too afraid to come down, “Go get me a bigger pot. Don’t worry, there are no more snakes.”

    Rie cautiously climbed down from the table, carefully scanning the floor as she walked into the kitchen.

    After Kuang Dao had placed all the snakes into the pot Rie brought and covered it, he looked pleased and excited.

    Tani Akiko, seeing that the danger had passed, finally sighed in relief. “Kuang Dao-san, thank you so much for saving us. Please, just throw them away.”

    Upon hearing this, Kuang Dao immediately shot her a glare. “Are you crazy? These are the finest wild delicacies. You want me to throw them away? I saved you, didn’t I? I don’t need your money or anything else in return. I just need to use your kitchen. Rie, help me go buy some ingredients.”

    “You… you plan to eat them?” Tani Akiko asked in disbelief.

    “Obviously,” he replied.

    The three women, of various ages, stared at him as though they had seen a ghost.

    ※※※

    “Here, kid, this is for you. Just swallow it whole.” After coming out of the kitchen, Kuang Dao placed a cup in front of the little girl.

    “What’s this?” The little girl looked curiously at the dark, round objects inside.

    “Snake bile. It’s very nourishing.”

    “I don’t want it.” As soon as the little girl heard, she immediately pushed the cup away.

    Kuang Dao shrugged. “Ungrateful brat. Fine, don’t have it.” He then drank the bile in one gulp.

    “Kuang Dao-ojisan, you’re so scary! You eat everything, just like Godzilla,” the little girl said, eyeing him nervously.

    “Flattery won’t get you anywhere. I’m not talking to you anymore, or the snake meat will get overcooked.” As he said this, Kuang Dao walked back to the kitchen.

    After a while, the snake stew, carefully prepared by this big man, was finally ready. Kuang Dao walked out of the kitchen with a large pot of snake stew, grinning as though he had just found millions of yen.

    When Kuang Dao first became a wandering martial artist, especially during the ten years he spent secluded in the mountains focusing on his training, he ate only the wild game he caught himself. Over time, he developed quite a skill for preparing such dishes.

    Now, after so many years, being able to enjoy the wild game he personally cooked again made him extremely happy.

    As soon as he lifted the lid off the pot, the rich aroma of snake meat filled the entire hall, causing the three women, who were pretending to watch TV, to turn and look.

    “Damn it, this is the smell. After all these years, I’m glad I still remember how to make it,” Kuang Dao muttered as he dug into the stew, eating with large mouthfuls.

    Tani Akiko and Rie felt full just watching him eat. Especially Rie—she knew that this man had just eaten two bowls of rice and a bowl of noodles not long ago. Did he have three stomachs?

    What she didn’t know was that Kuang Dao spent any free time he had training furiously to close the physical gap between himself and Lei Yin. And since he had run out of money, he hadn’t eaten much for two days.

    Meanwhile, the little girl, who was typically picky about food, stared intently at the pot of stew, which emitted a mouthwatering aroma. She had never smelled such a delicious scent before.

    Suddenly, she noticed Kuang Dao looking at her with a teasing expression. “What’s wrong? Want to try it?”

    “I—I don’t want to try it,” the little girl said, her face turning red as she quickly turned away.

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    Kuang Dao smiled and suddenly stood up, walking into the kitchen. He quickly returned with a pair of chopsticks and a bowl, placing them on the table and casually saying, “If you want to try, do it quickly. Otherwise, I’ll finish it soon.”

    Upon hearing this, the little girl finally turned her head to look at him.

    “Come on, hurry up. It’s really delicious.” Kuang Dao, feeling a bit lonely, tried to coax her over, thinking that a little kid wouldn’t eat much anyway.

    The little girl was a little tempted. She couldn’t help but glance at her mother.

    Seeing her daughter’s expression, Tani Akiko immediately said, “Baby, don’t go over there. That food might upset your stomach.”

    Upon hearing this, Kuang Dao grew angry. “If you don’t understand, just keep quiet. You don’t let her eat this, you don’t let her eat that—no wonder the little brat is so thin. Baby girl, come over here.”

    Tani Akiko trembled, wondering why this man always went after her. If it weren’t for him saving them, she would have kicked him out by now.

    After a moment of inner struggle, the little girl was finally coaxed over by Kuang Dao.

    After cautiously taking her first bite, she was immediately impressed by Kuang Dao’s cooking skills.

    “How is it? Doesn’t it taste great?” Kuang Dao asked, a bit smug, as he watched the little girl devour her food, stealing a glance at Tani Akiko, who was watching them.

    “Mm, this is the first time I’ve ever eaten something so delicious. Mama, Rie, you should come try it too, it’s really good!” The little girl said, looking at them with a thoughtful, filial expression.

    Unfortunately, the nanny Rie’s fear of snakes far outweighed any hunger, and she didn’t dare approach. Tani Akiko, still furious, especially at the smug look on the man’s face, swore she would never go near him, no matter what.

    After finishing the entire pot of snake stew, the little girl was so full she could hardly move, while Kuang Dao, who had eaten the most, was once again invited into the guest room by Tani Akiko.

    “What is it? Are you going to give me money again? Fine, since you’re insisting, just give me two or three hundred million, and that’ll be enough.” Sitting on the guest room sofa, Kuang Dao lazily leaned back while picking his teeth with a toothpick.

    Tani Akiko said in a low voice, “Sorry, Kuang Dao-san, I can’t afford the price you’re asking.”

    “Well, if you can’t afford it, then don’t bring up things that annoy me. If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave. Remember to notify me the next time someone releases snakes.”

    Tani Akiko immediately stopped him. “Excuse me, Kuang Dao-san, how did you know someone was planning something like this?”

    Looking at her, Kuang Dao lazily replied, “When I was on the first floor, I overheard that man pretending to be a delivery driver talking on the phone, saying that it was all set up and that this time, he would definitely scare you half to death. I thought it was a bit odd, so I came back to check. Turns out, it was a good Samaritan bringing me some wild game. But don’t worry, those people just wanted to scare you. The venomous fangs of the snakes were removed beforehand, so it seems they didn’t intend to make it a fatal incident.”

    Upon hearing this, Tani Akiko fell silent.

    After a moment, she suddenly raised her head and said, “Kuang Dao-san, I have an excessive request that I would like to ask you to agree to.”

    “Let me hear it.”

    Tani Akiko said, “I’d like to ask you to temporarily act as my Baby’s bodyguard for about three to four months. I’ll pay you the salary of a high-level bodyguard. I’m wondering if you would be willing?” [Idk if Baby is the actual name of the kid or just a term of endearment. For now I’ll stick to baby.]

    Kuang Dao sneered. “You want me to be a little brat’s nanny? Find someone else.” He stood up and started heading toward the door.

    Tani Akiko immediately blocked his way and said seriously, “It’s not a nanny, it’s a bodyguard. Kuang Dao-san, I’m asking you sincerely to protect my daughter.”

    “I already told you, those people who released the snakes just wanted to scare you. If you’re still worried, you can call the police. There’s no need to have a big man like me do something like this.” Kuang Dao said impatiently.

    “The situation is not as simple as you think. I know the identities of the people involved in this incident, including the ones who tried to take my Baby. They are all thugs working for a very powerful real estate company. Their goal is to force me to sell the hotel my late husband left me, so they can use the land to build a commercial center. But that hotel was the property my late husband valued the most in his life, and as his widow, I don’t want to go against his wishes and sell it. My cousin, in order to profit from this, has also joined them. They’re trying to pressure me into complying. If I call the police, they won’t be able to do anything without solid evidence. I’m not afraid of them coming after me, but I’m worried they’ll target my Baby again, just like this time. That’s why I really hope Kuang Dao-san can stay and protect her. Just for three to four months, and by then they should shift their focus and no longer be interested in the hotel. I hope Kuang Dao-san will agree to my request.”

    Kuang Dao looked at her deeply and said, “If you’re willing, you could hire a professional bodyguard from a proper security company to do this job. Why choose me?”

    “Because Kuang Dao-san’s skills are far superior to any professional bodyguard.”

    Kuang Dao narrowed his eyes. “If I’m not mistaken, you’ve never seen me in action. Why would you say that?”

    “No, I’ve seen it before.”

    “Where?”

    “At a bar in Shinjuku. At that time, I saw Kuang Dao-san single-handedly knock down more than ten gang members.”

    Kuang Dao thought for a moment and vaguely remembered something like that happening. Perhaps this woman had been there too.

    “Kuang Dao-san, if you think it’s not enough, I can pay you double the salary. Please, I beg you to stay.” For some reason, Tani Akiko felt an inexplicable sense of trust in this man, despite his rough demeanor and foul mouth. Rather than hire a stranger whose character was unknown, she felt more inclined to ask this man, who could take on ten people at once, to stay. That’s why she was so insistent.

    Kuang Dao remained silent, quietly contemplating.

    At that moment, Tani Akiko suddenly felt a wave of nervousness. She didn’t even know why she was so anxious about his response.

    After a while, Kuang Dao looked up and said, “I’ll agree to your request, but I don’t want your salary. I only want you to help me find someone to the best of your ability.”

    ※※※

    “This is so frustrating, spring break is over already, and I didn’t even feel it pass by,” Takeda yawned in the classroom.

    “If you’re frustrated, you can go to the rooftop and jump off. That way, you’ll get a super long break,” Lei Yin said as he pulled out his phone to check the time.

    “Shut up with your crow’s mouth,” Takeda shot him a glare.

    Suddenly, an excited expression appeared on his face. “I almost forgot, today is the freshman orientation ceremony. Let’s hurry up and check it out. Maybe this year there’ll be some pretty freshmen without boyfriends.”

    “Sounds good,” Lei Yin smiled.

    Takeda was a bit surprised. Normally, when asked to check out pretty girls, Lei Yin always seemed disinterested. So why was he agreeing so readily now? But the rebellious Takeda, eager to go see the ceremony, didn’t think much further. He quickly packed his things, afraid he would miss a good spot.

    As usual, Lei Yin had nothing to pack except for a book, so after Takeda finished gathering his things, the two of them left the teaching building together.

    By the time they arrived, however, it was already packed with people; it seemed they had arrived a bit late.

    “This is all your fault! If you’d walked a little faster, we’d have gotten a spot in the front!” Takeda complained.

    Lei Yin smiled but ignored him, taking out his phone instead.

    “Kazumi, where are you?”

    “I got it, I’ll come find you right now.”

    After ending the call, Lei Yin said to Takeda, “Let’s go, Kazumi is waiting for us at the school gate.”

    “Okay.” Takeda had no choice but to follow him.

    On the way, they happened to run into Yoshikawa and Shiraishi Akira.

    As soon as Takeda saw Yoshikawa, he mocked, “Looks like some big pervert, since he can’t get Queen Haruko, he’s trying to console himself by going after these young, innocent little girls.”

    Yoshikawa retorted, “Even if I’m a big pervert, it’s still better than some guy who hasn’t found a girlfriend since elementary school. Looks like the resentment of single men is really vicious.”

    “Idiot, be careful, you might end up being the first student in the history of Teikyo University to get AIDS.”

    “Shut up, you uncircumcised kindergarten kid.”

    Lei Yin and Shiraishi Akira exchanged glances and, in perfect sync, quickened their pace to put some distance between them, pretending they didn’t know them.

    At the school gate, Lei Yin saw Kazumi waiting there, and beside her was Takeshima Shinobu, who was chattering non-stop.

    “Brother.” When Kazumi saw Lei Yin, she smiled warmly.

    “How is it? Does she know where to meet us?” Lei Yin asked as he approached.

    “Mm, I already agreed with her that we’d meet here after the opening ceremony,” Kazumi replied.

    Lei Yin nodded and leaned back against a pillar.

    Kazumi looked at him and softly said, “Brother, I’m really happy.”

    Lei Yin smiled, “I am too.”

    “What are you two talking about? I don’t understand at all,” Takeshima Shinobu asked in confusion.

    “You’ll know in a minute,” Kazumi smiled and replied.

    “What’s with the mysterious vibe?”

    Half an hour later, Takeda and Yoshikawa returned from the front.

    “Too bad, there were too many people, we couldn’t see anything,” Takeda complained.

    “Was the opening ceremony over?” Lei Yin asked Yoshikawa.

    “Yes, it just ended, but we couldn’t see a thing,” Yoshikawa said, shrugging helplessly.

    Lei Yin didn’t respond, quietly staring ahead, as did Kazumi.

    Just as they were puzzled, suddenly, they saw a girl with long flowing hair, clearly a new student, walking quickly toward them.

    “Is that girl a new student too?” Takeda asked, staring blankly at the girl who was getting closer.

    “Looks like the quality of the freshmen this year is pretty high,” Yoshikawa commented, nodding in approval.

    But they quickly noticed something strange: the girl kept walking toward them and had a very excited expression on her face.

    At that moment, Lei Yin and Kazumi both smiled and walked toward her at the same time.

    When the girl was less than a meter away, she suddenly threw herself into Lei Yin’s arms.

    Takeda and Yoshikawa’s jaws nearly dropped at the sight.

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