Chapter 104: “Sending You Off”

Rustle, rustle!

Beneath a crooked old tree, Wei Hai gripped a hemp rope, looping it around one of the thickest branches.

After tying a firm knot at the base, just as he was about to slip the noose around his neck, a playful laugh rang out from nearby.

“Ending it like this is a bit unsightly, don’t you think? And if someone stumbles upon you, they’ll have nightmares for three years.”

“Mi—Mi—Mister Gu!”

Startled, Wei Hai hastily untied the rope and looked in the direction of the voice. He saw a figure in a green robe sitting by the Xiangjiang River, with a jar of wedding wine placed beside him.

After a moment of hesitation, Wei Hai walked over quickly and asked, “Mr. Gu, what are you doing here?”

Gu Ning’an pulled a letter from his sleeve and waved it. “Didn’t you leave me a farewell letter?”

“As a friend, I had to come see you off, didn’t I?”

“Huh? You weren’t asleep then?” Wei Hai looked surprised. “If I’d known, I would’ve left it at your door instead of slipping it through the crack.”

Gu Ning’an unfolded the letter and pointed to the text, chuckling. “This part, where you wrote ‘meeting you was the fortune of three lifetimes’—the character for ‘fortune’ should have a sheep radical, not a cow one…”

“And this phrase, ‘dying without regret’—the character for ‘regret’ should have the radical for ‘emotion,’ not ‘courage.’”

What does it feel like to have your farewell letter read out loud and your typos pointed out on the spot?

Wei Hai’s expression, a mix of crying and laughing, as though wearing a mask of anguish, perfectly conveyed the experience.

“Come on now. You’ve spent so much time around the three of us scholars; you must’ve picked up a little ink, right? How can a farewell letter be written so sloppily?” Gu Ning’an clicked his tongue as he spoke.

Wei Hai’s toes curled in embarrassment. After a pause, he asked, “Mr. Gu, did you come here to stop me from dying?”

“Hm?” Gu Ning’an tucked the letter away and smiled. “No, I came to send you off.”

“Huh?” Wei Hai’s mouth twitched. “You’re not going to stop me?”

Gu Ning’an waved dismissively. “Why would I stop you? Your life and death are your own decision. We’re friends, so I came to see you off, not to stop you.”

Hearing this, Wei Hai’s expression grew even more peculiar.

With a sigh, he plopped down beside Gu Ning’an, grabbed the wine jar, and took a swig before speaking. “Sir, you scholars—you’re really different from Li kid and Wen Songmo.”

“If they were here, they’d definitely start lecturing me about how it’s better to live miserably than to die.”

“But you don’t stop me and are even willing to keep me company in dying… How interesting. Truly, meeting you is the fortune of three lifetimes!”

Gu Ning’an glanced at him and chuckled. “Back on the boat, when we were drinking, you let it slip…”

“You said then that you wanted to drink yourself to death. And now, you’ve come back just to bring some silver for your family before taking your own life, right?”

Wei Hai nodded with a smile. “Exactly. That’s why I wasn’t scared when I ran into that damned Young Master Sun, or some nonsense about being a stand-in magistrate, or even being the emperor’s brother-in-law.”

“I came here to die anyway. Dying to stand up for a friend is better than taking my own life—it’s a more honorable death.”

“And I wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of doing it myself.”

“But who’d have thought I’d survive all that… Then I ended up at Xunshan’s wedding, playing the role of an elder. That’s when I started to feel like maybe I didn’t want to die after all.”

“And then, at night, I overheard the unfinished words from my wife… If our son Chao’er hadn’t ended up paralyzed, maybe he’d be starting a family like Xunshan by now…”

Gu Ning’an nodded. “Got it. But why did you pick this spot to die? And why sit here for a while before putting up the rope?”

“Ah, this place is secluded and by the river—it gives me more options for how to go,” Wei Hai said, pointing at the Xiangjiang River in front of them. He chuckled, “If I dive headfirst into the water, it’s quick and easy. No one would even need to clean up afterward.”

“As for why I waited a bit, well, I didn’t want to bring bad luck on Li kid’s big wedding day, you know?”

Hearing this, Gu Ning’an nodded approvingly. “Avoiding someone’s joyous occasion even when planning your own death—Brother Wei, you really are a thoughtful man.”

“Of course!” Wei Hai took another big gulp of wine and continued, “Well then, I’m ready to go. Mr. Gu, see you in the next life.”

Gu Ning’an waved his hand. “Go ahead.”

“Alright!” Wei Hai pulled a dagger from his belt. He first aimed it at his chest but hesitated. After a moment, he moved it to his neck but still couldn’t bring himself to act.

Gulp!

Wei Hai’s throat bobbed as he swallowed nervously. He hesitated for a long time but couldn’t bring himself to cut his throat.

“Can’t do it?” Gu Ning’an asked with a smile.

Wei Hai laughed awkwardly. “Yeah… It’s a little hard to go through with it.”

“Then try jumping into the river,” Gu Ning’an suggested, pointing to the water.

Wei Hai paused. “I think I’m actually a pretty good swimmer.”

Gu Ning’an waved his hand dismissively. “Didn’t you bring a rope? Tie your hands and feet together and attach the other end to this wine jar. Jump in like that—no matter how good you are at swimming, you won’t float back up.”

Gulp!

Wei Hai swallowed hard and said, “Mr. Gu, your mind really works wonders! But… do you have any other suggestions?”

“Of course.” Gu Ning’an smiled and then spent the next incense stick of time explaining no less than 81 different ways to die, detailing the pros and cons of each method.

By the end of it, Wei Hai instinctively moved a bit farther from Gu Ning’an and couldn’t help but ask, “Mr. Gu, were you a professional assassin before?”

“No, I just read about all of this in storybooks.” Gu Ning’an laughed and asked in return, “So, after hearing all of that, have you decided how you want to go?”

“Uh…” Wei Hai hesitated before saying, “Mr. Gu, after all the trouble you’ve gone to explaining this, it feels like I’d be letting you down if I didn’t die…”

“But honestly, I think I’ll just not die after all.”

Gu Ning’an stood up. “That’s fine. Who said you absolutely have to die?”

“Then I’ll go back and check on my wife and son. Sir, will you come with me?” Wei Hai asked.

Gu Ning’an shook his head. “No, now that this is settled, I’ve got to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of the night?” Wei Hai pressed. “When will you come back? Where can I find you?”

Gu Ning’an smiled. “I don’t know when I’ll return, but if your son ever gets married, send me an invitation… If I can make it, I’ll come.”

My son getting married? Who would marry a cripple… Wei Hai smiled bitterly and said, “Mr. Gu, you haven’t even told me where you live.”

“Lexiang County, Ansi Courtyard,” Gu Ning’an replied. With that, he picked up the wine jar and headed east.

Wei Hai silently committed Gu Ning’an’s address to memory, but by the time he snapped out of it, the figure in the green robe had already disappeared…