Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    “Duan Chen, can you still tell whether you’re a Demon Cultivator, a Demonic Cultivator, or an Evil Cultivator?1” Hua Erniang’s gaze was ice-cold, her tone laced with mockery.

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    “Demon, Demonic, Evil?”

    “Whatever it is—as long as it grants me great power, why bother making distinctions?”

    Duan Chen stepped out from the black cauldron, slowly descending to the ground. At the same moment, the pitch-black cauldron merged into his body.

    Seeing Hua Erniang’s now silver-white hair, Duan Chen clicked his tongue and said, “Lady Hua, I never thought you’d still be so enchanting, even with silver hair.”

    “Once I take you down, I’ll be sure to let you experience what your mundane husband could never give you…”

    “Heh…” Hua Erniang scrutinized him for a moment before sneering. “Looking at you now, without even a physical body, calling you a eunuch would be a compliment.”

    “Practicing evil arts and turning yourself into a eunuch… how ridiculous.”

    “Tsk, women only know how to play with words.” As he spoke, Duan Chen turned his gaze toward the arena stands and smirked. “Mr. Gu, I think your body is quite suitable. Hua Erniang seems to like it too… I’d like to borrow it for a while. Would you mind?”

    Hearing this, Gu Ning’an couldn’t help but chuckle. “You want to possess me?”

    “‘Possess’ sounds so crude. I merely wish to borrow it for a bit…” Duan Chen deliberately paused before continuing, “As for your soul, Mr. Gu, you can rest in my cauldron for a while. How about that?”

    “Duan Chen, don’t harm innocent people.”

    “Once Mr. Gu leaves, you can do whatever you want. I won’t stop you.”

    Hearing this, Duan Chen’s emotions flared violently.

    He had never expected that the childhood friend he had longed for all these years would now humbly plead for another man’s sake—someone she had only known for a few days!

    “Innocent?”

    “He is far from innocent!”

    Just as Duan Chen was about to seize Gu Ning’an and pull him into the arena, he saw the man step onto the railing of his own accord and call out, “Old Kui, come discuss the Dao.”

    Old Kui?

    Who was Old Kui?

    Could it be a Demon Cultivator secretly protecting Gu Ning’an?

    As Duan Chen hesitated, an aged voice rang in his ears: “Excuse me, please make way.”

    Swish!

    In an instant, Duan Chen’s figure turned into a cloud of black mist and retreated dozens of feet.

    He reacted this way solely because, when the wrinkled, black-haired old man appeared, he hadn’t sensed a thing.

    After the old man entered the arena, Duan Chen saw Gu Ning’an leap down effortlessly, landing as lightly as a drifting leaf—something no ordinary human could survive.

    This convinced Duan Chen that the black-haired old man must be Gu Ning’an’s bodyguard, finally revealing himself after seeing his master threatened with possession.

    The old man took a few steps forward to meet Gu Ning’an and asked, “Mr. Gu, how shall we discuss?”

    Gu Ning’an gestured toward Duan Chen. “Let’s discuss the heretical and demonic path.”

    At these words, Duan Chen merely furrowed his brows slightly but did not show anger. “Elder, may I ask if you serve under the Flood Dragon Emperor?”

    “Please, have a seat,” the Void Emperor said casually, and two wooden chairs materialized out of thin air.

    “Much obliged.” Gu Ning’an sat down with a smile and continued, “Old Kui, let’s first analyze the kind of techniques used by heretical and demonic cultivators, shall we?”

    The Void Emperor chuckled as he took his seat. “Then allow me to begin.”

    “Hold on!”

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    Duan Chen watched the two men before him casually conversing as if he didn’t even exist. His anger surged. “Aren’t you two being a little too arrogant?”

    “Do you really think I, Duan, can’t do anything to you?”

    “Wait a moment!” The black-haired old man raised his hand and said solemnly, “You are neither human nor demon now…”

    “Are you toying with me?” Duan Chen’s face darkened. He pointed at Ying Xiang and barked, “Throw this old fossil out for me!”

    Why me… Ying Xiang’s expression stiffened, but he had no choice but to obey.

    Spreading his wings, he shot toward the old… ahem, he shot toward the Void Emperor at lightning speed.

    “Oh?” The black-haired old man chuckled. “Mr. Gu, care for some roast bird?”

    Gu Ning’an nodded. “I wouldn’t mind trying some.”

    Boom!

    Ying Xiang, who had been soaring midair, instantly turned into a ball of fire and plummeted toward the ground.

    When he landed, he had transformed into a giant eagle—completely featherless, crisp on the outside and tender on the inside… he had become a perfectly roasted bird.

    The Void Emperor formed a sword gesture with his fingers and made two quick flicks in the air. The roasted bird’s two drumsticks and wings slowly floated over.

    Handing one large drumstick to Gu Ning’an, the Void Emperor took another for himself and took a hearty bite.

    “Oh, right. Little girl, you have a wing to eat as well,” Void Emperor called to Hua Erniang.

    Hearing this, Hua Erniang was momentarily stunned. Then, as if under some strange compulsion, she caught the wing that flew toward her… and actually started eating.

    “There’s one more wing left—for Liuying…” Muttering to himself, Void Emperor successfully distributed all four pieces of the roasted bird.

    A gentle breeze carried the rich aroma of roast bird across the entire dueling arena, making the spectators smack their lips. Some even wished they could jump into the ring themselves—not to fight, but to taste the host… ahem, to taste this roasted bird.

    The situation had changed so quickly that the audience could no longer make sense of it.

    One moment it was a battle arena, the next it was an emotional drama. Then there was betrayal, then an undercover agent… and now, somehow, it had turned into an open-air barbecue.

    Who could possibly predict what would happen next?

    The audience didn’t understand, but as long as it was entertaining, that was all that mattered.

    On the dueling platform, Duan Chen watched as Ying Xiang was instantly roasted. A deep sense of crisis gripped his heart—he hadn’t even sensed the mystical energy fluctuations when the black-haired old man cast his spell!

    Just what kind of existence had the Flood Dragon Emperor sent to protect this white-clad man?

    But wasn’t the man just a mere mortal prince’s subordinate? Was there really a need to send such a terrifying figure to guard him?

    “Doubao, have a taste. You should be able to eat now,” Gu Ning’an said as he tore off a large piece of meat and handed it to Doubao.

    Doubao extended two tentacles, took the meat, and opened its mouth wide—forming a perfect circle—before taking a huge bite.

    As the juicy, fat-rich meat entered its mouth, Doubao shuddered and let out a deep sigh. “This bird is too delicious!”

    “Sir! So this is what meat tastes like?”

    “No wonder people love eating it so much!”

    Gu Ning’an chuckled. “It’s thanks to Old Kui’s skill. If the bird had been overcooked, it wouldn’t taste as good.”

    The Void Emperor modestly waved a hand. “Ah, just a simple trick, nothing worth mentioning.”

    “You’ve gone too far!” Duan Chen’s face turned red with rage. He glared at them as if he wanted to eat them alive.

    Seeing this, the Void Emperor frowned. “You think we’ve gone too far just because we didn’t give you any meat?”

    “The problem is, you can’t eat it anyway.”

    “You’re a eunuch… no, wait, you don’t have a body!”

    Footnotes

    1. Demon Cultivator or Monster Cultivator are basically non-human cultivators. Demonic Cultivators are those who use dark or forbidden techniques. Evil/Heretical Cultivators are those who strayed and became evil or are truly evil.

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