Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    As he turned a corner inside the city, a chill ran down his neck. The middle-aged captain, feeling the ghostly presence breathing down on him, could no longer bear it.

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    He collapsed onto the ground, repeatedly bowing to Gu Ning’an. “Sir, please don’t hold a grudge against a petty man like me! A prime minister’s heart should be broad enough to sail a boat!”

    “Help this blind fool and get rid of that female ghost for me!”

    Hearing this, Gu Ning’an chuckled and said, “I can’t help you, but you can help yourself.”

    The middle-aged captain quickly replied, “Please, sir, guide me! Please guide me!”

    “You’ve taken too much ill-gotten wealth, which is why you’re haunted by a vengeful ghost. If you want to resolve this, you must return all the illicit money you’ve taken.”

    Before Gu Ning’an could even finish his words, the captain immediately got up and shoved the money he had extorted from Cao Cheng back into his hands.

    Seeing this, Cao Cheng couldn’t help but take a closer look behind the captain.

    He really couldn’t see anything, but after thinking about it—if even someone like the captain, who had surely seen his fair share of horrors, was this terrified—then maybe it was best that he couldn’t see anything either.

    Having returned the money, the captain didn’t dare to turn his head. Instead, he rolled his eyes sideways to glance at his shoulder.

    And just in time—he saw the female ghost tilting her head, staring at him with her fully white eyes!

    “Ahhh—!!!”

    With a wail, the captain collapsed again, breathing heavily. “S-Sir! She’s still here!”

    Just then, a few guards, having heard the scream, hurried over.

    Before they could get close, the captain, now fully aware of the situation, barked, “Get lost!” and sent them away with a scolding.

    Seeing this, Gu Ning’an smiled. “Didn’t I say? You have to return all your ill-gotten wealth.”

    “Additionally, you must do three good deeds every day—no matter how big or small. That way, you’ll at least get half a day where you won’t see the ghost.”

    “If you want her to leave for good, you’ll have to return all the money.”

    Gulp!

    Swallowing hard, the captain got up and cupped his fists. “Sir, what if I can’t find all the people I extorted money from?”

    Gu Ning’an grinned. “Then this delicate young lady will just keep following you… Oh, and not necessarily behind you. She might be in front of you, on your shoulder, or perhaps sitting by your bed when you sleep.”

    The more Gu Ning’an spoke, the paler the captain’s face became. “Sir, please, can’t you make an exception and get rid of her first…?”

    “I, Zhao, swear to the heavens—I will return every last tael of dirty money in my lifetime and perform good deeds every day!”

    Gu Ning’an waved him off. “That’s not for me to decide. Why don’t you negotiate with the young lady yourself?”

    “Shall I summon her to stand in front of you?”

    “No, no, no!” The captain frantically shook his head. “I’ll do good deeds right now, and I’ll start returning the money!”

    “Good. May you rid yourself of her soon, Captain.”

    With that, Gu Ning’an shot Cao Cheng a look.

    Cao Cheng immediately understood, made a gesture, and drove the carriage toward an inn in the city.

    Whoosh.

    A cold gust brushed against the captain’s neck. He staggered toward the city gate, grabbing a random guard and shoving a bulging pouch of silver into his hands.

    “Here! Any person you see that I’ve extorted—doesn’t matter how much I took—just give them one tael of silver each!”

    “And you bastards better not shake down the common folk at the gate anymore!”

    “Or I’ll skin you alive!”

    “You hear me?!”

    “Yes, yes, we hear you!”

    Hearing their response, Captain Zhao let out a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to figure out his next steps, a chilling breath tickled the back of his neck again.

    “Lady, please! Stop breathing on me! I’ll go right now! Right now!”

    With that, he bolted toward the city like a madman.

    Seeing an elderly woman struggling with a heavy basket of vegetables, he rushed forward to help carry it for her.

    When he came across a lost child, he immediately escorted them home.

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    Whenever he passed by a stall or shop where he had previously dined and skipped the bill, he unhesitatingly settled his past debts.

    Officer Zhao spent the entire day running around the city doing good deeds, only stopping late at night.

    Breathing heavily, his stomach growling with hunger, he leaned against a wall and sat down with a bitter smile.

    “Young… young lady, you’ve finally stopped blowing air at me. I’ve done quite a few good deeds today.”

    “You saw it all, right? I truly meant to change my ways…”

    “I’m turning over a new leaf now, so you’d best be gone when I turn around, alright?”

    Muttering to himself, Officer Zhao slowly turned his head back.

    Seeing that no one was behind him, he let out an excited shout.

    “Finally, some peace and quiet! Damn it all!”

    “Time for sleep! More good deeds tomorrow!”

    He stood up, dusted off his clothes, and felt a bit of relief as the tension in his heart eased.

    His face no longer as pale, Officer Zhao entered a nearby inn.

    As soon as the innkeeper’s assistant saw him, he looked like he had just spotted a harbinger of disaster. With a forced smile, he came forward to greet him.

    “Officer Zhao, what wind has blown you here?”

    Hearing the word ‘blown’, Officer Zhao instinctively rubbed his neck.

    “Get me an upper-class room and bring up some food and wine.”

    Damn it… We should’ve closed early today… The assistant dared not offend him, so he forced a smile, nodded, and led him to an empty room before hurrying to leave.

    A short while later, after getting scolded by the innkeeper, the assistant returned with a tray of food and wine, his face full of misery.

    “Officer Zhao, your food and wine are here. If you need anything, just call for me!”

    With that, the assistant attempted to leave the room as quickly as possible.

    But before he even reached the door, Zhao called out, “Wait a moment!”

    Damn it! What now?!

    In his mind, the assistant cursed Officer Zhao’s ancestors up and down but still forced a smile as he turned back.

    “Officer Zhao, is there anything else?”

    Officer Zhao fumbled around his chest for a moment, pulled out a few broken silver pieces, and walked over.

    “Why are you in such a hurry? You haven’t even taken the payment for the room and food yet.”

    “…Huh? Did the sun rise from the west today…?”

    The assistant was so shocked that he nearly blurted out his thoughts.

    Seeing the reaction, Officer Zhao suddenly thought of something and dragged the assistant downstairs to the front counter.

    The innkeeper was busy tallying accounts when he saw the “harbinger of disaster” dragging his assistant over. Instinctively, he started apologizing.

    “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please, Officer Zhao, don’t get angry. This kid is new, please don’t—”

    Bang!

    “Bring out the ledger and calculate all my past debts. I’m settling my accounts today!”

    As Officer Zhao finished speaking, both the innkeeper and the assistant froze in place.

    They couldn’t help but exchange glances, seeing deep confusion in each other’s eyes.

    “What are you standing around for? Hurry up and tally it! My food is getting cold!”

    Hearing Officer Zhao’s impatient urging, the innkeeper realized he wasn’t dreaming.

    So, with great caution, he calculated Officer Zhao’s outstanding tab and reported the total.

    It wasn’t a small sum—four taels and three qian of silver!

    They thought he would immediately flip out upon hearing the amount, but to their shock, he didn’t get angry at all.

    Instead, he promptly pulled out the money and paid the full amount without hesitation!

    And just before heading upstairs, he even turned to them and said, “Thank you.”

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