Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    The old man grabbed a handful of straw, walked up to Liu Feng, and gestured for him to lift his foot.

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    Still skeptical, Liu Feng released his foot and quickly stepped back two paces, slightly raising the iron shield in his hand.

    Seeing his wary stance, the old man simply chuckled, said, “Don’t be afraid,” and pressed one hand on the emaciated man’s neck while stuffing the straw into his mouth.

    Once the old man had filled the man’s mouth with straw, he pulled out a fire starter from his waistband and gave it a blow.

    A spark landed on the straw in the man’s mouth, instantly igniting it with the distinct smell of burning. The emaciated man, who had been struggling violently, suddenly stopped moving the moment the fire caught.

    Seeing this, Liu Feng couldn’t help but furrow his brows.

    Sealing a man’s mouth and setting fire inside—this didn’t seem like exorcism or saving lives. It felt more like competing with the King of Hell for souls.

    Despite his suspicions, Liu Feng decided to take the gamble. Outside, there was nothing but “hungry people.” Adding an old man as an enemy wouldn’t make much difference.

    The sparks in the man’s mouth flickered even brighter in the dimly lit room, illuminated only by an oil lamp. The old man gently stroked the emaciated man’s forehead while muttering under his breath.

    Whoosh… Whoosh…

    Even though the doors and windows were tightly shut, an eerie wind began to stir inside the room.

    The breeze fanned the flames, making them burn even more fiercely. The straw in the man’s mouth quickly turned to black ash.

    The old man propped him up and scooped a ladle of water from a nearby bucket, pouring it into the man’s mouth.

    Gulp… Gulp! The water, mixed with straw ash, flowed down the man’s throat.

    Suddenly, a strange sound rumbled from his abdomen. The old man seized the moment, twisted his body slightly, and gave his stomach a gentle slap.

    The next second, the emaciated man’s mouth gaped open wide, and with a retch, he vomited out a little ghost!

    The creature was pitch-black, about the size of a house cat, and as soon as it hit the ground, it bared its jagged, razor-sharp teeth.

    “These little spirit ghosts are vicious!” the old man remarked.

    As he spoke, he pulled a handful of incense ash from his waist and scattered it over the ghost.

    With a sizzle, like meat dropped into hot oil, the ghost writhed before dissolving into a puddle of foul-smelling black water…

    “You still breathing, kid?”

    The old man grabbed the limp, emaciated man from the floor and asked, “If you’re alive, make a sound. Tell me your name, so I know what to carve on your grave later.”

    The man slowly opened his eyes and stared at the old man for a while before weakly murmuring, “Grandpa Donkey… it’s me, A’Dou…”

    “A’Dou? The kid from the Back Street Wan family?”

    “Mm…”

    “You’re not going to make it. Any last wishes? Speak up, and I’ll see what I can do.”

    “I… ate my parents… I have no face to be buried… Grandpa Donkey, throw me to the wild dogs… throw me to the wild dogs…”

    With that, his head slumped to the side, and he died.

    “Ah… what a sin…” The old man let out a long sigh, dragging A’Dou’s corpse to a closed door. He pushed it open and placed the body inside.

    In the brief moment the door opened, Liu Feng caught a glimpse inside—a room not too small, but piled high with corpses just as emaciated. From what he saw in that single glance, there were at least a dozen bodies…

    “Sir, may I ask for your esteemed name?”

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    Seeing the old man’s ability to exorcise ghosts, Liu Feng lowered his guard a bit and respectfully bowed.

    The old man waved his hand and laughed, “What ‘esteemed name’? I don’t have a fancy title. Folks around here just call me Grandpa Donkey.1 If you don’t mind, you can call me Grandpa Donkey or Old Donkey.”

    “Grandpa Donkey!” Liu Feng cupped his hands. “Since you can drive out spirits, would you be willing to join me outside and help remove the little ghosts inside those people?”

    Grandpa Donkey waved his hand. “I know you’re an External Agent, but listen to me—that fierce ghost outside is really, really vicious!”

    “If we go together, we probably won’t survive even a single slash from that thing!”

    “I have a friend… a niece… a younger sister…” After changing how he referred to Qiao Min three times, Liu Feng simply said, “I have a colleague who’s currently battling that butcher chang ghost. It’s because she’s holding it back that I’ve had the chance to run around with this pig’s head.”

    “Really? You people have someone that powerful?” Grandpa Donkey asked in disbelief.

    Liu Feng replied seriously, “Not just powerful—ferocious!”

    Hearing this, Grandpa Donkey nodded. “Alright, since someone’s already dealing with that vicious ghost, we can take the opportunity to save more people!”

    Liu Feng nodded. “Agreed!”

    “So tragic, so tragic!”

    “That Widow Wang is truly pitiful~~”

    Beneath a corpse hanging at the entrance of a house, a young man in opera robes wailed loudly, leading a group of villagers in mourning.

    The eerie cries made Zhou Zhongtian, who was hiding among the crowd, feel a strange stinging sensation in his eyes, as if he might start crying along with them.

    The hanged corpse at the entrance was none other than Widow Wang. She was still dressed in a bright red wedding gown, her head drooping, tongue lolling out, and toes pointed downward. Her slightly swollen belly made the scene even more horrifying.

    If someone with a weak heart stumbled upon this at night, they might just drop dead from fright!

    Zhou Zhongtian glanced at the crying villagers around him and chose an elderly woman who looked kind. Leaning in, he asked softly, “Granny, how did Widow Wang die?”

    The old woman was crying loudly, but upon hearing Zhou Zhongtian’s question, she rolled her eyes and replied, “She hanged herself, of course!”

    “No, I mean… did she do it herself, or…”

    “Of course, she hanged herself! What, do you think we killed her?”

    “That’s not what I meant…” Zhou Zhongtian studied the height of the entrance and Widow Wang’s stature, his doubts growing.

    The rope tied to the entrance was very short. Without stepping on something, she wouldn’t have been able to reach it. But looking around, there were no stools or anything of the sort. So how did she manage to hang herself?

    Could it have been the opera-robed chang ghost that used some sorcery to hang her?

    “Granny, was Widow Wang already hanging when you all arrived?”

    Zhou Zhongtian’s question made the old woman impatient. She smacked her lips and said, “Of course not! We all came here to console her!”

    Zhou Zhongtian frowned. “Console her? About what? How?”

    “Her life was so bitter, of course, we came to advise her—to help her reincarnate sooner!”

    “A barren woman with a bastard child in her belly, staying alive only meant suffering another day!”

    “When she tried to hang herself, she wasn’t tall enough. So the villagers helped lift her up!”

    Upon hearing this, a chill spread down Zhou Zhongtian’s spine, and cold sweat instantly drenched his back!

    He never expected that this seemingly kind old woman was actually an accomplice to murder…

    Footnotes

    1. In pinyin, Grandpa Lu, but I'll just translate Lu as Donkey.

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