Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    During the New Year festivities, the marketplace would be nearly deserted by noon, with only a few stalls still open.

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    As a result, the vast empty space left behind became the perfect stage for the news teller.

    At this moment, a tall, thin middle-aged man in a short jacket and hemp robe was moving around the seated villagers, collecting payment with a copper basin in hand.

    The price wasn’t high—five copper coins per person.

    The crisp sound of copper coins clinking rang out from time to time. Once he had collected payment from everyone, the copper basin was already filled to the brim with coins.

    To ensure everyone could hear clearly, news tellers typically required the audience to sit in a circle around them, while they stood in the center to speak. Today was no exception.

    Gu Ning’an and his group arrived just in time, managing to secure a mid-tier spot in the third ring of the audience. Considering there were ten rings in total, a rough estimate put the crowd at over a hundred people…

    “Alright, everyone!”

    “Settle down!”

    The news teller’s booming voice carried remarkable energy.

    The moment he spoke, the previously noisy crowd fell silent, all eyes turning toward him.

    “Today is the fifth day of the Lunar New Year!”

    “First, let me wish everyone a Happy New Year!”

    “May you all have good health, success in all things, and wealth flowing in!”

    After saying this, the news teller bowed deeply to the audience.

    His words of blessing immediately put smiles on the villagers’ faces.

    Watching this, Gu Ning’an suddenly realized that the news teller’s speech style had a bit of a cross-talk feel to it.

    “Alright, no more small talk!”

    “Today’s shocking news comes from the Great Wu Dynasty!”

    “Yes, that’s the one bordering our Great Qian!”

    As he spoke, his voice deepened, and his expression turned serious.

    “On the first day of the Lunar New Year, at the third quarter of the hour of the Dragon (7-9 AM)…”

    “The old emperor of Great Wu was beheaded inside his own palace!”

    Whoosh!

    The entire crowd erupted in shock!

    Many felt goosebumps rise all over their bodies.

    An emperor beheaded inside the imperial palace? This was beyond comprehension!

    The news teller had completely captivated the audience’s curiosity.

    Everyone was desperate to know—who could have the power to cut off the emperor’s head?!

    All at once, the crowd urged him to continue.

    “No need to rush! There’s a reason behind this event. I’ve already told you the most important part… Now, let me explain why it happened!”

    “More than thirty years ago, the Great Wu Dynasty was plagued by a vicious flood dragon…”

    The moment Gu Ning’an heard the words “vicious flood dragon”, he immediately realized who the key figure in this story was—Jiang Wanzhou, the one-armed blade master he had encountered before.

    For nearly half an hour, the news teller recounted the grievous blood feud between the Blade-Nurturing Sect and the old emperor of Great Wu.

    Most of the villagers had never even left Lexiang County in their lifetime, let alone heard of these events.

    So, after listening, many were seething with anger!

    A hero who had saved the people was mercilessly slaughtered by the emperor—such injustice was infuriating!

    Many people, filled with righteous fury, began shouting on the spot:

    “The dog emperor deserved to die!”
    “That wretched old emperor was worse than a beast!”

    Seeing the crowd so emotionally charged, the news teller began trembling in fear!

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    After all, news tellers were never favored by the imperial court—many of the stories they spread involved rebellions. Now, these villagers were loudly cursing “the dog emperor”, but without specifying Great Wu’s emperor.

    If an informant overheard this and reported it to the authorities, wouldn’t he be sentenced to extermination of his entire family?

    “Stop! Stop!”

    “Everyone, calm down! Please, calm down!”

    “If you’re going to curse, at least specify Great Wu’s old emperor! You can’t leave out the dynasty name!”

    “I still want to live a few more years!”

    Hearing this, the villagers realized their mistake and immediately corrected themselves. Some even slapped their own mouths and shouted out clarifications, declaring that they were only cursing Great Wu’s emperor—while praising Great Qian’s emperor as a wise and just ruler.

    “That’s right! Our Great Qian Emperor is a wise ruler for the ages!” the news teller loudly echoed, secretly wiping the cold sweat from his forehead.

    “Alright! Now, let me tell you exactly what happened in the Great Wu palace that day!”

    Swiftly changing the topic, the news teller continued his tale.

    The Assassination of the Great Wu Emperor.

    On New Year’s Day, the first morning of the new year—

    The Great Wu Imperial Palace was filled with a joyous and festive atmosphere.

    Inside one of the imperial bedchambers, various silken robes, lingerie, and sheer veils lay scattered across the floor.

    The old emperor, nearly seventy years old, was still surprisingly vigorous—on New Year’s Eve, he had indulged in a long night of debauchery with several of his concubines.

    On the vast “dragon bed”, fair-skinned, voluptuous concubines were entangled together, forming a scene of extravagant indulgence.

    Around the hour of the Dragon—A deafening explosion suddenly erupted above the imperial palace!

    Witnesses saw a thousand-zhang-long (over 3,000 meters) white blade of light crash down from the heavens, slicing into the palace grounds!

    Instantly, the entire palace was thrown into chaos.

    Countless imperial guards, eunuchs, and palace maids were caught off guard, but all rushed toward the emperor’s bedchamber to protect him.

    The towering palace walls, the grandiose halls, and even the jade-paved floors—all either collapsed, cracked apart, or revealed deep fissures under the devastating force of that single blade of light.

    By the time the imperial guards arrived at the emperor’s chambers—

    Through the thick dust and smoke, a tall, one-armed figure emerged, holding his blade against the old emperor, whose head was covered in blood, his disheveled body clad in only a white undergarment.

    Seeing this, none of the imperial guards dared to act rashly.

    They feared provoking the attacker, lest he immediately execute the emperor!

    Thus, the one-armed swordsman demanded a prisoner’s carriage, shackles, and chains.

    The old emperor, of course, recognized his captor—and understood exactly why he wanted these items.

    But, in order to buy time and find a way to survive, the emperor cooperated without resistance—even more enthusiastically than the swordsman himself.

    Before long, the old emperor willingly donned the shackles and chains and climbed into the prisoner’s carriage.

    Under the watchful eyes of countless people, the one-armed swordsman drove the prisoner’s carriage in a circle around the imperial palace—then headed straight for the capital of Great Wu!

    By the time they reached the Great Wu capital, countless soldiers had already gathered, preparing to ambush and kill the swordsman to rescue the emperor.

    Yet, the one-armed swordsman remained completely unfazed.

    He even ordered the surrounding soldiers to have the common folk pelt the old emperor with rotten eggs and vegetables!

    At first, the citizens were hesitant—

    Some imperial soldiers, disguised as civilians, threw rotten eggs at the swordsman instead.

    In response, the one-armed swordsman silently sliced off the old emperor’s ear.

    The old emperor was instantly overcome with excruciating pain.

    Yet, instead of resisting—he furiously commanded the people:

    “Throw the rotten eggs at me, not Hero Jiang! If anyone dares hit Hero Jiang, their entire family will be executed!”

    The moment those words left his mouth—

    The common folk and the soldiers “obeyed” the emperor’s order wholeheartedly…

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