Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    “Mr. Gu, my wife was born mute…”

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    “So I asked Carpenter Zhao to make this wooden box for her. With it, Qianqian can at least exchange a few words with people, whether she’s going out or doing something.”

    As Lei Ben finished speaking, Gu Ning’an couldn’t help but praise him. “You’re so thoughtful—what a clever idea.”

    Swish!

    [My husband is the best!]

    Seeing the words on the bamboo slip, Gu Ning’an smiled knowingly.

    Although that line—“My husband is the best”—was specially added by his wife and often “displayed,” normally, it was nothing, but in front of Mr. Gu like this, he still felt a bit embarrassed. “Ah, I was just fooling around. It’s mostly thanks to Carpenter Zhao’s craftsmanship!”

    “I only mentioned it to him once, and he made one up for me in no time!”

    “The tricky part is, this wooden box is very complex. Every bamboo slip has to be sanded extremely thin—it’s a lot of work… and yet Carpenter Zhao only agreed to take two qian of silver from me!”

    Two qian?

    Gu Ning’an couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s still stuck at that old two qian rate, huh…”

    “Huh?” Lei Ben was confused.

    “Nothing,” Gu Ning’an waved it off. “So, what brings you two here, standing outside my courtyard so early in the morning?”

    “Oh!” Lei Ben patted the Tiao Lang Clan uniform he was wearing and smiled. “We’ve taken over Aunt Song’s shift—I’m part of the Tiao Lang Clan now.”

    “We’re here to collect the trash.”

    Gu Ning’an was puzzled. “Collect the trash?”

    “You’ll see!” With that, Lei Ben walked over to the courtyard wall and shouted inside, “Tree Grandpa, it’s me, Lei Ben! I’m here to collect the trash!”

    Moments later, a soft rustling noise rose from inside the courtyard.

    Next, the kumquat tree beyond the wall rustled its leaves, and a small whirlwind took shape, gently carrying a mix of fallen leaves and dust outside the wall.

    It landed perfectly at Lei Ben’s feet.

    Looking at the pile of debris, Lei Ben picked up the broom leaning by the wall and began sweeping skillfully, chatting as he worked: “It’s been windy and rainy lately. Just two days without cleaning and this much has already piled up.”

    When did the kumquat tree become Tree Grandpa?

    Gu Ning’an chuckled. “So all these years, you’ve been letting the kumquat tree clean out the courtyard for you?”

    Lei Ben shook his head. “Not always. When little Brother Hu was still in the county, he’d sweep the yard.”

    “If I didn’t see any piles outside the wall for two days, I’d call on Tree Grandpa to help.”

    “By the way, I think Brother Hu has gone out lately—it’s been a while since I last saw him.”

    “He’s the one who taught me how to ask Tree Grandpa to clean up.”

    Gu Ning’an nodded. “Thanks for your help.”

    “No trouble at all.”

    “This is what we Tiao Lang Clan folk should be doing anyway.”

    By now, Lei Ben had swept all the trash into a bamboo basket.

    And Gu Ning’an seized the moment to offer, “If you’re nearly done with your work, how about coming in for a cup of tea?”

    Lei Ben hesitated briefly, but before he could speak, there was a swish as a bamboo slip popped out: [Would we be intruding?]

    Seeing this, Gu Ning’an waved his hand. “Not at all, not at all. Please, both of you, come in.”

    With that, Gu Ning’an pulled out a bronze key, opened the gate, and invited the couple inside.

    Rustle~ rustle~ rustle~

    The lush kumquat tree swayed its branches energetically when it saw Gu Ning’an return, as if welcoming him home.

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    Gu Ning’an gave it a glance, then turned to the slightly nervous couple behind him. “The sunlight is perfect right now. Why don’t you sit here in the courtyard? I’ll go brew some tea.”

    As Gu Ning’an entered the kitchen, Lei Ben and his wife sat down in the yard. Looking at the flourishing kumquat tree, Lei Ben cupped his hands respectfully and said, “Tree Grandpa, it’s an honor!”

    “I often see you from outside the wall. Today, I finally get to see your full glory.”

    Swish!

    Zhou Qianqian pressed the wooden box and popped out a bamboo slip: [Hello, I’m Zhou Qianqian!]

    Rustle rustle~

    The kumquat tree swayed its branches in response.

    Before long, Gu Ning’an brought out a full tea set and sat across from the couple.

    Just then, the morning sunlight pierced through the light mist, casting gentle rays onto the table, softly illuminating the three bowls of tea.

    In the golden light, the fragrant tea shimmered, glowing with a lustrous, inviting shine.

    “This tea is called Wishing Spring. It’s this year’s new harvest. Please, have a taste,” Gu Ning’an said, lifting his cup and taking a light sip.

    Lei Ben and his wife carefully followed suit, lifting their cups for a taste.

    The Wishing Spring tea wasn’t dazzling at first sip, but as it slid across the tongue and reached the throat, a lingering sweetness bloomed.

    It was like the vitality of spring itself—a subtle but uplifting energy that hinted at life’s resurgence.

    Lei Ben’s eyes lit up. “What good tea! I don’t usually drink tea, but even I think this tastes amazing!”

    Swish!

    Zhou Qianqian shook her box: [Delicious!]

    “If you like it, take this pack with you.”

    “You’re up early, so this tea can help refresh you.”

    Seeing Gu Ning’an pull out a packet of tea wrapped in wax paper, Lei Ben quickly waved his hands. “We can’t accept that! This tea looks expensive. We’re rough folks—it’s enough to have a taste.”

    But Gu Ning’an insisted. “Just take it. If you don’t, I won’t feel right asking you to keep coming by to clean up the courtyard.”

    “Well then…” Lei Ben hesitated, then nodded. “Alright, we’ll take it later.”

    “Thanks a lot, Mr. Gu!”

    Swish!

    [Thank you!]

    Swish!

    [Mr. Gu!]

    Seeing the bamboo slip displaying just the two words for “Mr. Gu,” Gu Ning’an couldn’t help but ask, “Your box probably doesn’t hold that many bamboo slips, right? Isn’t it a bit wasteful to give my name its own separate one?”

    Hearing this, the couple both shook their heads vigorously.

    One said aloud, “Not wasteful!”

    The other pressed a button on the box: [Not a waste!] Then she covered the character “not” to reveal [Waste], only to uncover it again, showing [Not a waste] with a smile.

    Gu Ning’an laughed. “Alright, you both said this connection began with me… yet as your matchmaker, I never even knew when you two got married.”

    “Would you mind telling me your story?”

    Lei Ben grinned. “Of course!”

    Zhou Qianqian: [Yes!]

    Then Lei Ben put on a nostalgic look. “It all started more than twenty years ago, on the day you first returned to the little Ansi courtyard.”

    “Do you remember why we first met back then?”

    Gu Ning’an nodded. “You were strong and trained in martial arts. The villagers thought Ansi Courtyard was haunted, so they brought you in—thinking your fiery energy could suppress it.”

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