Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    On a desolate and endless official road, a thin man trudged along alone.

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    His hair was a tangled mess, resembling wild grass left untended for too long, with dirt and dried leaves clinging to the strands. Calling him disheveled would be an understatement.

    His clothing was even worse—riddled with rips and tears, worn down to the point where even the slightest breeze seemed like it could shred it completely.

    Limping forward on the deserted road, the man frequently lifted his head to glance ahead.

    Each time he raised his head, his unkempt hair parted to the sides, revealing a face covered in cracks—some wounds had scabbed over, while others still seeped fresh blood.

    Who would have thought that such a pitiful figure was none other than one of the candidates for Great Wu’s future emperor—the Fifth Prince, Ye Kunxing!

    “Tap… Tap…”

    After walking for who knew how long, the Fifth Prince finally stopped, panting heavily as he swept aside the messy hair blocking his vision.

    When he caught a glimpse of the darkened sky, where strange ashes floated like drifting wood shavings, he thought at first that he was seeing things.

    He hurriedly rubbed his eyes and looked again—no difference. The sight before him remained unchanged.

    He fell silent for a moment. Then, his expression twisted, and he suddenly burst into hysterical laughter!

    After laughing wildly for a while, he lowered his head and pressed on, mumbling to himself:

    “Something’s wrong with the sky… something’s terribly wrong…”

    “A calamity must be coming… but what does that have to do with me?”

    “I wonder if my Third Brother and Uncle have made it back to the capital…”

    “It’d be best if they died—died on the way back. That would be perfect…”

    The mere thought of the Third Prince and Royal Prince Ye meeting their demise seemed to fill the Fifth Prince with an eerie energy, quickening his stumbling steps.

    At last, limping his way to the end of the road, a grand imperial city came into view, reflecting in his bloodshot eyes.

    As he gazed at the familiar cityscape, his heart was a whirlwind of emotions. He swallowed hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood in his throat, and, eyes brimming with excitement, staggered toward the city gates.

    At the city gates.

    The guards on duty saw a refugee approaching but didn’t pay him much mind—their attention was entirely fixed on the sudden, bizarre shift in the sky.

    “This sky feels eerie… Look at that stuff floating up there—it’s not quite snow, not quite rain, and it’s covering the whole sky!”

    “You think that’s scary? That red glow from earlier… Damn, the whole sky lit up! If the roosters hadn’t stayed quiet, I’d have thought it was morning already!”

    “Enough, enough! You’re all busy worrying about the heavens, but we still haven’t heard a word about the two princes! We need to keep watch—if they return and we don’t report it immediately, we’ll be eating thirty lashes at least!”

    “Ugh, it’s the middle of the night. Other than this one refugee, who else would be coming in…?”

    The guards chatted among themselves, paying no attention to the frail man limping past them.

    After all, not even in their worst nightmares would they have imagined that this half-dead refugee was actually Great Wu’s Fifth Prince.

    But the Fifth Prince didn’t bother revealing his identity either.

    He had tried countless times in various towns and counties along the way—claiming to be the Fifth Prince had earned him nothing but scorn at best and beatings at worst.

    So he could hardly be bothered anymore. Even if he felt like he might collapse from sheer exhaustion at any moment, he pressed forward without a word.

    Then, suddenly—his crippled left leg gave out.

    He stumbled and fell flat on his face, hitting the ground with a dull thud.

    Hearing the sound, the soldiers stopped talking.

    A refugee dying? Not their problem.

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    A refugee dying at the city gates? That could be trouble.

    The lead soldier shot a glance at one of his men, and with a reluctant sigh, a mid-sized soldier shuffled over.

    “Hey! Wake up!” The soldier nudged the man’s back with his foot.

    No response.

    Frowning in disgust, the soldier flipped him over, intending to drag him out of the way.

    Then—he saw his face.

    “This kid looks… weirdly familiar…” The soldier muttered, narrowing his eyes.

    At those words, the other soldiers, bored from standing around, turned their attention to the fallen man.

    The captain took one look, and his face instantly drained of all color.

    Shoving the others aside, he bent down to inspect him more closely.

    Then, stammering in sheer terror, he cried out:

    “Fi-Fifth—Fi

    “The Fifth Prince!”

    “Dammit, it’s the Fifth Prince!”

    “Quick, go inform the officials—the Fifth Prince has returned!”

    “Right, summon the imperial physician! Get the physician here immediately!”

    As soon as the captain’s voice fell, the city gate erupted into chaos. Messengers sprinted into the city to relay the news; torches were lit; orders were shouted—everyone was busy beyond measure.

    Meanwhile, lying on the ground with vacant eyes, the Fifth Prince seemed to regain some clarity after the initial daze of his fall. He opened his mouth, his voice hoarse as it squeezed out from his parched throat: “You… recognize me as the Fifth Prince?”

    “Of course! Of course! How could we not recognize the Fifth Prince?!” The captain, drenched in cold sweat, quickly responded. “Your Highness, you’ve suffered! What in the world happened to you?”

    Hearing this, the Fifth Prince raised his calloused, dirt-streaked hand to touch his face, then exhaled deeply. “So I’ve finally returned to myself… But considering that Mr. Gu is an immortal, he wouldn’t go back on his word…”

    “Returned to yourself?”

    “Mr. Gu?”

    “Immortal?”

    The captain gave a strained laugh. “Your Highness, forgive me, but I don’t understand a single word of what you’re saying.”

    “Khak—khak—khak!” A violent fit of coughing wracked the Fifth Prince’s body, and fresh blood trickled from the corner of his lips. He lifted his hand, pointing at the captain as he asked, “Has my third brother… and Royal Prince Ye… returned?”

    “Ah, Your Highness, please, don’t strain yourself!” Supporting the Fifth Prince, the captain hastily replied, “The Third Prince and Royal Prince Ye are still missing, but thank the heavens—you have returned!”

    “Rest assured, the Grand Preceptor has already sent many forces to search for them. I’m certain they will be found and brought back soon!”

    “They will be safe, Your Highness—please don’t worry!”

    Upon hearing that the two were still missing, their fates uncertain, the Fifth Prince’s lips curled into an irrepressible smile.

    Feeling a wave of relief wash over him, his strength drained away. His arms went limp, and his heavy eyelids slowly shut.

    Witnessing this, the surrounding soldiers felt their hearts sink, their eyelids twitching violently!

    The guard who had earlier kicked the prince blurted out in panic, “Captain, check if he’s still breathing!”

    “If he dies here, we’ll all be executed—our entire families too!”

    “Quiet!” The captain barked, then stretched out a trembling finger to the prince’s nostrils. As soon as he felt the faintest wisp of breath against his fingertip, he let out a deep sigh of relief.

    “Thank heavens… He’s still alive…”

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