Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    “Hey!”

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    “Oh, come on now—what, we can’t drop by the grain depot and check on the brothers without an imperial edict from the Yan Emperor?”

    As he spoke, Advisor Liu walked over to a freshly piled stack of grain sacks and casually poked a small hole into one. A stream of pale yellow millet trickled out with a rustle.

    Scooping up a handful, he actually brought it straight to his mouth and started chewing it raw.

    Captain Wei was momentarily stunned by the sight. He looked like he wanted to stop him, but recalling who he was dealing with, he swallowed the words.

    Mouth still full of millet, Advisor Liu mumbled, “This shipment’s heading to Yinsha Prefecture, right?”

    Captain Wei nodded. “Yes, Advisor.”

    “Oh…” Liu nodded and casually patted the nearby sacks as he walked, tearing small openings here and there and sampling their contents.

    Salted dried fish and meat, freeze-dried vegetables—he tasted them all.

    By now, Captain Wei was completely dumbfounded. He couldn’t understand what Advisor Liu was doing out here in the middle of the night, chewing on rations like this.

    Sure, most of this stuff could be eaten raw, but wasn’t he afraid of upsetting his stomach?

    Still, that salted meat and dried fish gave off such an aroma that, even standing some distance away, Captain Wei caught a whiff of that rare, long-missed scent of meat.

    Grrr~

    Perhaps it was the smell that did it—Captain Wei’s stomach growled audibly in protest.

    Advisor Liu turned to look at him and chuckled. “Didn’t get enough to eat, huh?”

    “Heh heh…” Captain Wei let out an awkward laugh, lowering his head in embarrassment.

    Seeing this, Advisor Liu looked around at the soldiers still hauling sacks. “You lot hungry?”

    The soldiers hesitated, then replied, “No, sir!”

    “Bullshit!” Advisor Liu snapped. “Speak honestly!”

    “HUNGRY!”

    The chorus of voices shot skyward, causing snowflakes piled atop the surrounding walls to come fluttering down.

    “Good!” Advisor Liu clapped his hands and pointed to the newly arrived supplies. “Start a fire and get cooking! Lay out the wine, the meat, and the millet porridge!”

    Alarmed, Captain Wei rushed forward. “Advisor Liu! You can’t! This is meant for Yinsha Prefecture!”

    “To hell with Yinsha Prefecture!” Advisor Liu swore. “That’s an order! Get moving!”

    Even after hearing the word order, the transport soldiers didn’t dare move. They looked at each other uncertainly, unsure what to do.

    “Hey!” Advisor Liu pretended to be angry. “What’s this? Has my word stopped counting for anything?”

    “I’ll count to three. Anyone still standing there like a damn log will be dealt with under military law!”

    The mention of military law was enough—Captain Wei no longer dared object. He quickly began organizing the soldiers to build fires and cook as ordered.

    Under the principle of “using what you’ve got,” it took less than the time to burn an incense stick for them to throw together a feast under a makeshift tent of canvas.

    Thick millet porridge, dried meat stir-fried with vegetables, fish soup made from dried fish—and every soldier got their own jug of rice wine.

    When it was all laid out, the soldiers stared at the food in disbelief. Some even pinched themselves, unsure if they were hallucinating from cold and hunger.

    “What the hell are you standing around for?”

    “EAT!”

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    With that command from Advisor Liu, the soldiers—who had been salivating the whole time—fell upon the food like ravenous wolves.

    “Now that’s more like it.” Advisor Liu smiled in satisfaction, took a hearty swig of wine, and quietly wiped away a tear that had welled at the corner of his eye.

    Half an hour later, after food and drink had been delivered to the guards on duty, Advisor Liu returned to find the soldiers had picked every dish clean.

    The bowls were scraped so spotless you couldn’t even see a trace of oil.

    Looking at the content, full-bellied soldiers, Liu smiled and asked, “Well? Everyone full?”

    “Full!” they chorused with laughter.

    “Good.” Then Advisor Liu’s tone shifted as he pointed at the sacks and wagons of supplies. “So tell me—do you think this fine wine, meat, and grain should really be wasted feeding the demons in Yinsha Prefecture?”

    “Damn right it’s a waste!” someone shouted, then immediately fell silent and lowered their head, realizing they were the only one who’d spoken.

    “What’s this?” Advisor Liu barked. “I feel it’s a waste, and you lot don’t even dare speak up?”

    He laughed and went on, “If you’ve got something to say, say it! You all know what kind of man I am.”

    “Advisor Liu!” a skinny soldier patted his still-hollow stomach. “To be honest, it’s really a damn shame! We won the battle, yet we still have to tighten our belts to feed those… sigh.”

    “Shameful? That’s not the half of it!” a drunken middle-aged man growled. “You lot have no idea—when I went to collect grain from the villages, the people were skin and bones. Some of the elderly couldn’t even walk anymore.”

    “But before I could even speak, they brought out the grain on their own. They told us to make sure we ate well, to never go hungry on the battlefield!”

    “You didn’t see their eyes… those eyes…” His voice cracked, and the man broke down in sobs. “I’ll never forget the way they looked at me!”

    “If they knew all that grain we collected was going to feed the demons… I don’t even dare imagine it.”

    Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the long-bottled anguish—one by one, the soldiers began to speak. They talked about the hopes of the people, the suffering back home…

    Even Captain Wei couldn’t help but ask, “Advisor… how long do we have to keep feeding them?”

    After a long silence, Advisor Liu said solemnly, “His Majesty Emperor Yan holds the lives of 200,000 people in his heart. He can’t bring himself to act… I’ve pleaded, I’ve cursed, but if it came to blows—I wouldn’t be able to win against him.”

    “We all know what kind of man Emperor Yan is.”

    “He just… can’t make this decision.”

    “That’s why I came here today—to ask all of you to help him make it.”

    Everyone looked puzzled. They were just transport soldiers—how could they force the Emperor to decide?

    Advisor Liu glanced around, then pointed to the massive stockpile of supplies. “I want you to haul all this grain back. Leave only enough for one mouthful per soldier. Hide the rest in some mountain cave.”

    “I don’t believe it—when the time comes, will the Emperor choose to let his own brothers starve, and plunge countless citizens into misery, or will he choose those 200,000 people in Yinsha?”

    Faced with this shocking statement, Captain Wei stammered, “A-Advisor Liu… hoarding and hiding army supplies is punishable by death…”

    Liu waved dismissively. “To hell with it. If this comes to light, I’ll take full responsibility. Let him execute my entire clan if he must.”

    “For the sake of the people… and for our brothers… we can’t keep going on like this.”

    “But you lot will suffer too. Maybe not die, but it’ll strip a layer of skin off you. Think carefully. You don’t have to help, but if you don’t—you can’t go tipping anyone off either.”

    “I’ll count to three. If you’re willing to help, step forward.”

    “One!”

    Swish, swish, swish!

    Every single soldier stood up as one—without even the slightest hesitation.

    Looking at them, Advisor Liu smiled with deep relief. “Good. Good!”

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