Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    Li Fangzhang ran out the door and searched everywhere for a long time, but he couldn’t find any trace of Gu Ning’an.

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    The villagers gathered outside, those who could still speak, mentioned seeing a man in a green robe leaving with a Daoist.

    But even after running far in the direction they pointed, Li Fangzhang still couldn’t find Gu Ning’an.

    When he returned to the Lu family’s wooden house, a group of villagers who enjoyed gossiping was still gathered out front.

    Earlier, when Li Fangzhang had asked them for help, they had all fallen silent as if collectively struck mute, only responding with strange gestures.

    Now, they were still waiting there. The moment they saw Li Fangzhang return, they started making gestures at him again.

    Nearby, the old man who had directed Li Fangzhang earlier chuckled and said, “Fangzhang, you left in such a hurry just now that I didn’t get to explain something to you.”

    “That Mr. Gu isn’t an ordinary person! He sealed the mouths of these gossipers.”

    “Just now, he told them that they wouldn’t be able to speak again until they saw your aunt, sincerely apologized to her, and earned her forgiveness!”

    “If they don’t, except for a brief moment during the hours of the Dragon, Horse, and Rooster, their mouths will remain sealed the rest of the time!”

    Sealing people’s mouths!

    Such a technique must surely be the work of an immortal!

    Li Fangzhang was stunned, his eyes wide with disbelief. Meanwhile, those whose mouths had been “sealed” kept bowing to him, their eyes filled with pleas for mercy.

    “Fangzhang, did you find Mr. Gu?”

    Upon hearing this familiar voice, Li Fangzhang was about to step closer when the mute villagers all rushed toward Aunt Zhou.

    “What are you doing? What do you want?”

    Lu Feng, who had come out with Aunt Zhou, didn’t know what was happening and immediately stood in front of his mother to shield her.

    The crowd, maintaining a respectful distance from Aunt Zhou, all bowed deeply to her in unison.

    “What kind of nonsense are you people up to?” Lu Feng shouted at the crowd, full of confusion.

    At that moment, a light breeze swept through the area.

    The villagers who had been “sealed” suddenly felt a looseness around their mouths, and the tightly shut lips they couldn’t open before were now free!

    “Big Sister Zhou, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have gossiped behind your back and said that Li Fangzhang was an illegitimate child you secretly gave birth to!”

    “Sister Zhou! I’m ashamed! I won’t ever call you Big Insect Zhou again!”

    “If this filthy mouth of mine ever spouts nonsense again, may it never open again!”

    For a while, apologies came one after another in a chaotic wave.

    Faced with this scene, Aunt Zhou was both shocked and strangely pleased. She turned to look at her nephew, Li Fangzhang.

    Li Fangzhang mouthed two words to her: Mr. Gu.

    Understanding this, Aunt Zhou smiled and nodded before turning to face the crowd in front of her.

    Among them were all the neighbors from this small village.

    In such a small place, people often had too much time on their hands. Their favorite pastime was to sit on little stools, gossiping and chatting about the affairs of the village’s families.

    If asked whether they had malicious intentions, some definitely did. But most of the time, it was just a form of entertainment for them.

    “Fellow villagers! Let me say a few words.” Aunt Zhou’s voice silenced the crowd immediately.

    Everyone straightened their backs and quietly looked at her.

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    “Like you, I’m just a village woman who’s never stepped foot outside Stone Bamboo Village in her whole life.”

    “Sometimes, the things you say about me aren’t entirely wrong.”

    “After all, I do like to show off my smart nephew!”

    “So when you gossip, I don’t really mind most of the time. I’ll argue with you when needed, and life goes on… But when there’s real trouble, have I ever turned my back on any of you?”

    At this, Aunt Zhou pointed at a woman in the crowd and laughed, “Xiao Feng1, your son is about the same age as my Feng’er. Back then, when you didn’t have milk and your child was starving and crying, wasn’t it me who nursed him?

    “And later, what did you say about me? You said I was showing off my nephew, that he wasn’t even my biological child, and that he’d turn into an ungrateful brat sooner or later!”

    Hearing this, the woman named Xiao Feng lowered her head in shame and admitted, “Yes, Sister Zhou, I was wrong. I’m sorry!”

    “And you, Old Liu! When your wife passed away early, wasn’t it me who found your current partner for you?

    “What did you say about me? That I was meddlesome and insisted on forcing a wife on you!”

    “And you, Xiao Hong2, Sister Li, Aunt Zhao, tell me, haven’t I helped you all at some point?”

    If earlier, these people apologized out of fear of Gu Ning’an’s power, feeling little genuine remorse, now, after Aunt Zhou’s words, everyone—whether mentioned or not—lowered their heads.

    They realized that the woman before them had indeed lent a helping hand when they needed it and had never asked for anything in return. Yet, out of jealousy and spite, they had maliciously spread rumors and mocked her…

    Slap!

    In the crowd, Old Liu smacked himself hard on the face. “Sister Zhou, I was blind. I wronged you! I repaid kindness with cruelty. I deserve to never speak again!”

    With someone taking the lead, others followed. The very same people who had scrambled to apologize now began slapping themselves, as if the louder the slap, the more genuine their remorse.

    “Enough!” Aunt Zhou pushed aside her son, who was shielding her, and raised her voice. “It’s not entirely your fault! My mouth just can’t resist showing off!”

    “From now on, we’ll still be good neighbors. I’ll tone down my bragging, and you all stop gossiping about me. We’re all from the same village—happy and peaceful living, isn’t that the best?”

    At this moment, Old Liu shouted, “No!”

    His jarring response drew everyone’s attention, their eyes filled with doubt, as though ready to gang up on him if he dared say anything outrageous.

    Old Liu raised both hands and quickly clarified, “Don’t misunderstand! What I mean is, Sister Zhou should keep showing off! We’ll just stop gossiping!”

    “Our village producing a scholar is already a great honor!”

    “If he becomes a juren, that’s even more glory for all of us!”

    Hearing this, the crowd agreed enthusiastically. Some even declared on the spot, “Li Fangchang has been smart since he was little. He’s sure to pass the juren exam!”

    In an instant, the chorus of praise and flattery grew overwhelming, leaving Li Fangchang blushing red.

    “All right! All right!” Aunt Zhou gestured for quiet, and once the commotion died down, she said, “Are you all asking me to show off?”

    “Yes!” The crowd responded in unison, their voices booming.

    “Good!” Aunt Zhou reached out and pulled her son, Lu Feng, to the front. “Then let me show off my no-good son too. You won’t mind, right?”

    “Uh… Mom, what are you talking about?” Lu Feng stammered, caught off guard.

    “What’s wrong? Feeling shy?” Aunt Zhou gave her son a hearty slap on the back and laughed. “Just now, this kid dared to stand in front of me to protect me. That shows that, despite being a rascal, he’s filial. Don’t you all agree?”

    The crowd sized up Lu Feng for a moment and then burst into laughter. “Yes!”

    “Then it’s settled!”

    “From now on, I’ll not only show off my nephew but also my own son!”

    The crowd laughed in unison, “Sounds good!”

    Footnotes

    1. Idk if Xiao here is a surname or just a term of endearment. Xiao here means little, so if it's a term of endearment, then she would be Little Feng.
    2. This Xiao is a different Xiao which means dawn, and is most likely a surname.

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