Potato Tales

    Translating novels one potato at a time.

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    The thick stench of burnt flesh lingered in the dungeon as a beam of sunlight filtered through the hole in the ceiling.

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    Dust swirled within the cylindrical shaft of light. To its left, the group of mortal women huddled together, their expressions blank. The relentless flashes of lightning from earlier seemed to have drained them of fear.

    Watching the rat-faced demons get reduced to ashes by the divine lightning, a strange thought arose in their hearts—it was as if the heavens had truly manifested!

    In stark contrast, Madam Xu, who had previously remained composed, now wore a twisted expression of terror, as though fear itself had taken form on her face.

    Beside her, the once-arrogant Magistrate Wei—who had the tall and scholarly appearance of a refined gentleman—was now gripping the dungeon bars, his legs trembling uncontrollably.

    “Sister! Sis!”

    “Wh-what… what’s going on with this heavenly lightning?!”

    “It wasn’t like this before!”

    Magistrate Wei stretched his neck, gulped hard, and continued in a shaky voice, “Could that pedantic scholar have been right all along? Using this technique really goes against the natural order and invites divine retribution?”

    “Impossible!”

    Madam Xu snapped coldly, “He’s just a powerless mortal. He might not even understand this technique, let alone perceive the force of divine retribution!”

    “There must be some flaw in this spell that I haven’t yet discovered. That man just happened to make a lucky guess, like a blind cat stumbling upon a dead rat.”

    Saying this, she seemed to find solace in her own reasoning, her expression easing slightly. With newfound confidence, she declared, “Yes, it must be that the spell is incomplete. That’s why it worked without issue before but has now drawn heavenly lightning.”

    Magistrate Wei, still weak in the knees, half-knelt and asked in a quivering voice, “T-then what should we do?”

    “I can’t pinpoint the problem right now, and the divine retribution is far too fierce. I don’t dare recklessly attempt the spell to investigate its flaws.”

    “We’ll have to wait until the Void Emperor awakens. Once he does, he’ll surely be able to identify the issue.”

    “For now, our priority is solving the problem of acquiring mortal women…”

    “Solving the problem of acquiring mortal women…” Magistrate Wei leaned against the dungeon bars, biting his nails in thought. After a brief moment, he clapped his hands and grinned. “I have an idea!”

    “You have an idea?”

    Seeing the skepticism in his sister’s gaze, Magistrate Wei straightened up and cleared his dry throat. “Sister, think about it—Great Wu’s political situation is still unstable. Even though the Fifth Prince has the Flood Dragon Emperor backing him in secret, he still isn’t the legitimate emperor!”

    “Since the Fifth Prince’s people refuse to cooperate, we might as well try another approach!”

    Madam Xu frowned. “You’re not suggesting that we support that missing Third Prince, are you?”

    “No, of course not!” Magistrate Wei waved his hand dismissively. “The Third Prince is out of the question—siding with him would mean directly opposing the Flood Dragon Emperor!”

    “Even though my brother-in-law, the Void Emperor, doesn’t fear the Flood Dragon Emperor, there’s no need to make such a powerful enemy at this stage!”

    Hearing this, Madam Xu showed a hint of approval and smiled. “Go on.”

    Magistrate Wei began pacing, speaking deliberately. “If we need a large number of mortal women, we demons won’t be able to handle it ourselves. After all, there are two True Immortals guarding the borders of Northern Huangtian.”

    “But if mortals do the job, it won’t be an issue!”

    “And to acquire that many women, we’ll need someone with power and influence in Great Wu.”

    “With that in mind, the answer is obvious!”

    “Sis, take a guess—who am I talking about?”

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    By this point, Madam Xu had already deduced who he meant. However, since her usually frivolous younger brother had finally come up with a decent plan, she wanted to give him some confidence.

    Feigning confusion, she asked, “Who?”

    Seeing his sister unable to guess, Magistrate Wei puffed up with pride. With a smug expression, he pointed southward and said meaningfully, “This person is far yet near—right here in Eternal Slumber City!”

    “The two owners of the Hunting Arena—Minister Ma and General Zhong!”

    Madam Xu paused before responding, “Them? But they are also under the Fifth Prince. If even Mr. Gu refused you, do you really think they would agree?”

    “Not the same, completely different!”

    Magistrate Wei waved his hand repeatedly, his face full of disdain. “Those two? To put it bluntly, they’re the kind who serve whoever benefits them the most. As long as we offer them enough incentives…”

    “Heh!”

    “I guarantee they’ll wag their tails and grovel before us like loyal dogs!”

    Madam Xu pondered for a moment before asking, “Then what do you think we should do to lure them into working for us?”

    “Isn’t that simple?” Magistrate Wei scoffed. “Aren’t they practicing that ridiculous body-tempering technique?”

    “That kind of training requires a massive amount of demon blood!”

    “The blood they can acquire themselves is nothing compared to what we can grant them!”

    “Besides, we can promise them more advanced cultivation techniques, even teach them how to channel spiritual energy into their bodies… Once that seed is planted, whether they succeed or not, the mere dream of immortality—of becoming powerful, free-roaming cultivators—will make them willingly submit to us!”

    “Little Ling, you’ve finally grown up.” Madam Xu nodded in satisfaction. The earlier frustration caused by the technique’s failure seemed to have completely dissipated.

    “Sis…” Magistrate Wei pursed his lips, about to say something, but his sister continued, “Since you’ve already thought this through, we’ll proceed as you suggested.”

    “Great!” Magistrate Wei quickly responded. “Then let’s head out now—”

    Madam Xu shook her head. “No rush. We’ll go tomorrow. I want to see the show Duan Shen is putting on first.”

    “Duan Shen’s show?” Magistrate Wei frowned. “Sis, since when are you interested in watching such entertainment?”

    “It’s not about enjoying the spectacle,” Madam Xu said calmly. “I simply want to observe Duan Shen.”

    “Duan Shen?” Magistrate Wei looked doubtful. “What’s there to observe about that bastard?”

    “That man is sinister and despicable. Instead of using his strength to win over a woman, he resorts to disgusting tactics.”

    “Frankly, he’s a disgrace to our demon race!”

    “You shouldn’t judge people purely by appearances. There are plenty of powerful individuals in this world, but someone with his level of cunning and strategy? That’s rare.”

    Then, with a smirk, Madam Xu added, “Besides, he’s not as weak as he seems on the surface… In a one-on-one fight, you wouldn’t be able to defeat him.”

    “What?” Magistrate Wei looked incredulous. “How could that be?”

    “How?” Madam Xu chuckled. “Didn’t you just say it yourself? He’s sinister and ruthless, willing to use any means necessary… If he treats even his childhood sweetheart like that, imagine what he would do to strengthen himself?”

    A realization seemed to dawn on Magistrate Wei, and he said seriously, “Sis, over the years, he’s taken a lot of commoners from those two Great Wu officials…”

    “But we haven’t seen that many commoners in the city…”

    “Is he practicing demonic cultivation?”

    Madam Xu smirked. “I’d say it’s more than likely…”

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